The whole world can fall asleep
It will have to do so without me
I am not done daydreaming
The whole world can hasten its pace
It will have to do so without my face
I am not done breathing deep
The whole world can build and climb
It will have to do so without my mind
I am not done reflecting myself
The whole world can increase the noise
It will have to do so without my voice
I am not done whispering to you
The whole world can lust for itself
It will have to do so without my help
I am not done staring in awe
The whole world can bleed for its war
It will have to do so without my cause
I am not done conquering me
The whole world can hide from the storm
It will have to do so without my warmth
I am not done feeling the rain
The whole world can write all the rules
It will have to do so without my soul
I am not done rediscovering belief
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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HOODWINKED! The Poetic Bandits
This is exquisite in its purpose, especially the last line making every line crystal clear as to reasoning. It should be in a spiritual contest, which there usually are a few around here at A/P; for it surely would take the gold.
I would suggest breaking it up into stanzas, mainly because it is easier for a reader to lose their place when it is one long piece. Line meter is very inconsistent, which does cause this wonderful poem to lose some power of impact. Still, what you have written is so important that it almost doesn't matter.
Love in Christ, BonnieQ
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hmm
i liked the words and the idea of the piece
but as for the piece itself it could use some structure
and it seemed as it wanted to rhyme and later gave up on it. idk just my point of view
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Outstanding
Beautifully penned and the message is reflective of my feeling towards a world spinning out of control. I refuse to fall into the mainstream because it's the path of least resistance. very well written!
Rhon
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You did excel with this one.Another one did.beautiful lines .meant so much.deep meaning.well crafted good structure.Did you have a stereotype in mind while characterising this poem.?i thought so.Keep it up.thanks for sharing.Please visit my poetry for some soulful experience.I loved these lines:
The whole world can hide from the storm
It will have to do so without my warmth
I am not done feeling the rain
The whole world can write all the rules
It will have to do so without my soul
I am not done rediscovering belief
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I must say..I really liked this.. Well I liked the meaning behind your words.. The repeat of "The Whole world" was a little annoying though that didn't really take away from the image that you created here.. The rhyme seemed a little forced to me, but that could just be me
.. I liked the emotion that was expressed in this write.. You really did a good job.. other then the repetitive phrase I really enjoyed reading this.. thanks much for sharing!!
Angel
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