Agonizing gasping, barely breathing
Clutching chest praying while heaving
Breaking ribs in an attempt to help
Eyes rolling back, not myself
On the brink of death two times before
When will it end, can’t take much more
Please let me go, don’t want to fight
I’m ready for rebirth, tonight
A contest entry
- Challenge#4: a poem in no more than 50 words by Virgoan.
600 points, ended August 16, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i love the rhyme scheme you have presented on this piece. on a personal note, i prefer the last word to be extended - changed into a phrase. 'a bit hanging for me'. Just my opinion
thanks for sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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Thank your very much for your comments and opinion. I guess I did it right because thats exactly what I was trying to express. Being tired of the suffering and hoping it would be through and not knowing if that time had come. God Bless.
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