the earths attire
Parched,
Ghostly White,
too dry, even for
fire,
the land, has fallen,
in barren corrosion,
the night's implosion has stolen
even the flickering heat,
that hid amongst the piled caverns
of bone marrow.
__________________________________________________
as aged sorrow flakes into the ashes of the past,
snowing the evidence,
of each,
lost,
life.
the land is expressionless
of, just, too much!
too much to handle at once,
too much of simultaneous loss,
the night's murderous chill tortuously sips
the last of the ancient remaining
these dear,
oh! so dear ashes
carrying
of the last,
of our humanity
Author notes
not in the best of moods...not feeling to great.. but glad that i can create..
i know that i put the commas in weird places i was playing with format,
not sure what i should name it
any suggestions?
crap i thought you meant 40 lines max
damn i have 96 words
errg ill fix it later i dont want to hurt my poem quite yet
A contest entry
- ...of clay and bone by zochit2me.
1850 points, ended August 23, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please? and thank you...
Comments
-
This reminds me of the Kansas 'Monolith' CD cover art (and a lot of the lyrics too). Strong poem--worth working over. Best wishes in the contest, and hang in there! :-)
-
First go back and read the rules about line limits and then let me know you edited it...
Please do so in a timely manner
this would fit perfectly...
the earths attire
Parched,
Ghostly White,
too dry, even for
fire,
the land, has fallen,
in barren corrosion,
the night's implosion has stolen
even the flickering heat,
that hid amongst the piled caverns
of bone marrow.
I think the rest is unnecessary anyway.
you poem, your call but it must be edited in order to stay...only fair.
Becky
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