Ore
Forged by myriad million years of light,
cast against eternities of night,
elemental embers collect amid the void,
pooled in glowing clouds of dust and rock.
Particles accrete through time and motion,
condensed to monumental orbs of molten
crystal moods, amassing alloys mid the darkness,
cooled to form a rind of raw potential.
Fertile soils rise from ancient stone,
animating shapes of wood and bone.
Nimble hands evolve and grope the ground for clues,
scratching for a means to reach the sky.
Fires smelt a future from deposits
quarried from a realm of veins and pockets,
charged into converters from out the depths of reason,
hatching alloys cast as new potential.
Corpse
They rise as if from out the earth, a maze
of beams and columns stretched against the haze,
looming like the relic frames of ancient beasts,
massive specters moaning on the wind.
Reflections slowly seal each giant carcass,
body bags of alloys mined from darkness
closed around the ribs of tall decaying monsters,
ghastly shadows cast across the landscape.
They cantilever labyrinths of gloom
hard against an ever present brume,
where wander human wraiths yet bound to living breath,
faces filled to silence with dismay.
Like mausoleums raised to mark the open
graves where hopes lie wasting in corrosion,
great facades reflect with every sunset whisper
traces of the hollowness within them.
Course
Canyons wrought from concrete steel and glass
soar above an ever seething mass,
heads and fenders tossed within a frantic flood
swelled from centuries of strong desire.
Arteries of lava, veins of phosphor
circulate through fields of psychic squalor,
where great malignant tumors feed upon the current,
welled from out the heart of mass confusion.
Discolored patches stretch and fade from view—
membranes taking on a sickly hue—
an ever growing quilt expanding abstract themes
flung beyond the grasp of human thought.
Filaments of culture weave a madness
shimmered from the dark side of a canvas
suspended deep in silence against abysmal backdrops
clung forever to the soul's awareness.
In a list
Thoughts, Feelings, Interpretations, Experience:
Comments
1 - 77 of 77
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I just loved the sensory imagry that u used its like i can just see and feel what you are saying. I love it, love it, love it. And i like the way you used earthly things to describe the sene. And how you used the lava theam a lot i just loved it so much. I hope to see more of your work in the near future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ah yes. Despite this poem having been written some time ago, it still feels like a recent write to me. An important write. It was after writing this that I began to take serious the idea of exploring the synthetic ode.
Glad you enjoyed.
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Lord of the little things.
Lord of the little things.
smell the roses and feel the pain of thorns, we have nature's gifts every where, ready to be explored..............
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Ready to be explored, and one day left behind. Will we just one day die out like so many species before us? Or will we take what we learn to the stars and perhaps even further? Little do we realize that we are already existing in multiple dimensions--we have only to learn how to become conscious of those other dimensions in which we exist. Perhaps then we could move more freely through time-space.
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Well Zahhar, it's easy to see the complexity and depths of your poems and the sifnificance gained once read this emotional respond lacks in every motive spare amazement. The work of each stanza, given to revive the reader from boardem, it's hard not to ask if you worked in a place to give your self the raw talent to write of such high levels, infact it would not at all suprise me if we found this in a famous book one day in the 22nd century for it's stunning use and metaphoric grand so rich and effective. It's captivating inhancment so much better than anything i have ever read before today and the fact you'll never be able to look at these metals again. Alchemny th most suited title for a piece, you have used the magic to create the work of Cambell.
So undoubtly amazing,
Gorecki.
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Glad you were able to enjoy this. Yes a fair amount of work went into this trisect, much more than usual. Something tells me you might also enjoy one of my older trisects, "Sakura". The place I worked at the time I wrote this was a group home for children, on the night shift. Had the time and energy to read and ponder my subject matter. If I was less prone to anxiety, I'd be more prolific--but anxiety can absorb a lot of mental and creative energy.
Campbell? As in Thomas Campbell? I actually sing one of his poems, "The Last Man"--a favorite of mine since I was 15. Great compliment. The the average poem from Campbell tended toward dry pedantry, he managed to scratch out a handful of truly priceless gems that should hopefully still be read clear to the end of humanity.
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Hi Zahhar, this is superb, but I've been gone a long time and was just reading another complex poem, so forgive me the brevity and lack of positives. There are so many good things, I can't begin to list them all. Instead, three tiny criticisms to show how good it is in contrast. First is that repetition of "potential". I understood that this was on purpose, this poem is very purposeful; but for me that was the problem/distraction. I immediatley looked to see if the pattern was repeated. It is so obvious, that it creates the expectation of pattern, and dissonance when it isn't repeated. I understand you shifted your intent, but you might consider whether that shift allows you a little more freedom of action on this point, particularly as "potential" is such a contentless yet loaded term.
Second, yet just as trivial, "Fertile soils rise from ancient stone, / animating shapes of wood and bone" is terrific, but... the "rise" is a touch problematic and the phrasing somewhat distancing from the immediacy of "Fertile soil from ancient stone, / animates the shape of wood and bone." The scansion issues might decide you here, but this struck me from the two line summary before I even read the poem.
Third, yet still relating to "Ores": In almost all the final couplets you end with feminine sounds, other than landscape, desire, dismay and beasts, but each of these is paired with a soft vowel. The one exception is the third stanza, "clues" and "sky". The justaposition of these hard vowels struck me negatively. It's as if the presence of the hard sounds invites rhyme or asks for disconsolate thought. Not sure I'd suggest a change, but it struck me.
Finally, I don't like ending with "soul's awareness." This can be dismissed as a personal bias of mine against poet use ofr the SOUL, but particularly in a poem which is infused with such tremendous imagery, and in which you seem dedicated to allowing personal interpretation, this amorphous yet loaded phrase seems a bit to pat... it's conclusionary yet vague as opposed to specific yet open. These latter qualities define the poem as a whole, and hopefully, you'll understand that I mean that as high praise.
Brian
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I thought about the lack of a similar refrain in the second and third segments, and in fact I had originally planned to use a refrain like "potential" in the same relative locations in those segments, but try as I might, I could make one fit and seem like the natural choice. But I was happy with the way the first set of refrains turned out, so I didn't alter them out as I was considering as the poem came to its conclusion. So I have no real defense for them other than, "I kind of like 'em."
I chose "rise" because mountains and valleys rose from presumably stony ocean floors in ancient pre-history. As erosion wore down the rocks that rose from the the sea, and up into the sky, fertile sediments rose up on the stony valley floors, and out of the rocky vales and out over bedrock plains. Glaciers ground rock mightily against rock until fertile soils rose up against their covers of ice, heating the undersides with microbial activity. I had all this imagery in my head when I chose "rise". Now, hopefully, it's in your head, too.
The line endings of all even numbered stanzas should be feminine, and those of the odd numbered stanzas should be masculine. I did strive for mostly soft vowel sounds at the close of these lines, but I suppose my vocabulary isn't yet broad enough to allow me to leverage it. But I did try to make the harsher vowels key in certain ways. Pivotal.
I'll admit I wasn't happy with "soul's awareness" myself. Felt clumsy and stretched. But I really couldn't figure anything better. None of the alternatives that came to mind felt like a fit to me. I'll stay open to a potential change here at some point, however. And, that's a fourth criticism by the way.
Thanks for reading, sir, and for your detailed thoughts. I enjoyed reading them and reflecting possible ways to improve the poem.
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It's magnificent!
I wish I was able to write as good!
I guess I should expand my english vocabulary.
In a weird way, your poem tastes almost sweet to me...
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Expanding vocabulary helps. But employing it helps even more. When you learn a few new words, put them to use!
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Superb Plus +
Wow, I find this to a write which caused a plethora of different thoughts and feelings within me. Thanks for sharing this one with us. It is very well written. I wrote one with the same title, which is very different from yours. Here's a link:
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Glad you liked. Yes this is a different sort of creature this poem.
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You are quite welcome.
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I find this very interesting. Is refreshing to read something good for a change. Keep up the good work.
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Glad you enjoyed.
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great write
it paints pictures in the readers mind and lets them take a journey with you. I really like the topic too
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That's exactly the idea of the trisect. Paint paint pain a word-portrait in the mind of the reader, and let them decide what it is they're seeing. Of course, the painter must have something to mirror with her words, or the imagery would become overly abstract, but done right, the reader gets to interpret more than the author ever could have written into it.
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in awe.
The imagery in this was , stunning. The vocabulary used was also fantastic. The set up of the poem was displayed well, I think i read this through now three or four times and the pictures it manages to create are amazing. Great work.
Laura.
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Glad you enjoyed my effort here! Yes this is a complex piece of writing, and it took a lot of time, energy, and even study to make it happen. Thank you for your kind words!
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ALchemy
what a coincedence;from my abode of thoughts i have alchemy too.
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lol
Glad you liked!
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Excellent
Wow, I like this write, just as it is. Your imagery is fantastic. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. This also reminds me of one which I wrote with the same title, here's a link, if you would care to read it:
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Ah your comments are becoming more focused.
I'm glad you enjoyed this effort, Brandy. -
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Thank you. Yes, I did indeed.
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Good old Isaac knew about the earth energy and grid long before his heirs of his official trade found out. After him Tesla took it to a different level and before him wizards of ancient times were aware of what is still vehemently denied and disqualified as unscientific today. The secrecy veiling the black art is of course maintained for a reason. You wrote quite an eloquent take on the matter. Thank you for creating and sharing.
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Glad you enjoyed this effort. Took a long time to write, especially since most of that time went to studying the main influences on the inspiration behind this poem.
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aweseome
you are an amazing "artist"... bye the way, how do u find time to write all these poems??? lol. -
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Well they're written over a long period. I wish I actually had the time to write more, and to dedicate my efforts fully. Tough being a poet when you're at the bottom of the food-chain.
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Still Amazing
Canyons wrought from concrete steel and glass
soar above an ever seething mass,
heads and fenders tossed within a frantic flood
swelled from centuries of strong desire.
Arteries of lava, veins of phosphor
circulate through fields of psychic squalor,
where great malignant tumors feed upon the current,
welled from out the heart of mass confusion.
Discolored patches stretch and fade from view—
membranes taking on a sickly hue—
an ever growing quilt expanding abstract themes
flung beyond the grasp of human thought.
Filaments of culture weave a madness
shimmered from the dark side of a canvas
suspended deep in silence against abysmal backdrops
clung forever to the soul's awareness.
I'm not sure what this last stanza is about but i think it has something to do with a factory, a mine, or.. Well... A volcano? I like the way that you actually used objects in this poem instead of just highly qualified vocabulary. It just seems more concrete now. -
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I actually answered that in my response to donnz's first comment. Be curious how it would affect your perspective/enjoyment of that segment.
Nice to hear from you!
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from ore i saw the conception of the universe, the dawn of humanity, our collective struggle for power thru knowledge, very moving, i wasnt cpmpletely in the grip of it yet, but being led merrily along...did you mean to use the word potential twice to end a verse? i only ask because you are so very articulate i thought it must be on purpose, however with me, sometimes i trick myself and use a word a second unconscious time which i dont see until i step back
"Fertile soils rise from ancient stone,
animating shapes of wood and bone.
Nimble hands evolve and grope the ground for clues,
scratching for a means to reach the sky."
was my very favorite bit, here
in corpse, it is all so brooding, gloomy, you really have this prohetic, apocolytic thing going on here, i love it
"Reflections slowly seal each giant carcass,
body bags of alloys mined from darkness
closed around the ribs of tall decaying monsters,
ghastly shadows cast across the landscape."
*soulful mourning regret, oh yummy!* (i may use that line in a poem soon! lol)... i just adore your lyrical imagry
course, seemed a harsh roadmap of the future if humanity doesnt get its act together
"Filaments of culture weave a madness
shimmered from the dark side of a canvas"
so eloquent and stark! also i liked the wording of 'growing quilt expanding"
it really is difficult tho to pick out favorite bits, as it really all is quite out-standing!
PEACE!
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Yes "potential" was used twice intentionally. I had originally planned to use the same word twice in this way in the first stanza of each segment, but it didn't pan out in the end, and I had to relax my originally intended structure.
I like the stanza you've selected as your favorite. It's a good stanza. Covers the entire development of earth from the crust cooled to when proto-humans began to become cognizant. And it manages to do so visually. Not easily done. Took several days for me to decide on that wording.
Segment two focuses on the an element of human mechanization: The Skyscraper. Perhaps its customary for sentient creatures to erect massive tombstone sepulchers to commemorate their existence before they wipe themselves out.
"lyrical imagery"--nice. I like this way of putting it. In fact, since I'm a firmer advocate of structured poetics than I am of poetic imagery, this feels like a rather profound compliment to me. Thank you.
It's neat that you see "course" as a road map of the future. I had intended it only as a snapshot of the present, but it works as a road map of the future as well. This image you've isolated--I'll show you what inspired it: This image
Thanks for reading, commenting, and enjoying!
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Your tone and rhythm were really solid. I enjoyed the whole piece and your clever word choices and phrasing. There's a lot to this and I found myself going back to read it again to make sure I didn't miss anything. Great job.
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Thank you. A lot went into this, so it's nice when I get to hear that someone gets a lot out of it. In fact so much went into this poem that I've had trouble motivating myself to write ever since finishing it. But hopefully soon I'll find myself going again.
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This was Great
In ore I get the image of a wizard looking for diffrent aloys for spells of magic, going into caves and looking in streams for silver and gold.
and the section called "corpse" I get the image of the wizard conjuring giants, zombies, banchies and other mythical creatures that he plays with and creatures who do his biding this is just my take on the poem Keep up the great writing.
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This is a great look into your experience with the poem. I really appreciate your taking the time to tell me what you got from the first two segments and how you experienced them. If you found you had the time, I'd enjoy your impressions on the final segment as well.
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GENIUS
Hello Zahhar....Extremely meaningful poetry ...the laguage is English...but the soul of your poem is from the sub-continent...must read indeed.
I am from Mumbai...India.
Rahbar.
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Ah you found my most recent project effort. Yes I'll admit that I'm pretty happy with this poem. It took me three months of research and time to put this poem together. I knew I wouldn't use even one half a percentage of what I researched in the poem's content, but I also know that 100 percent of what I learned would influence the poem's outcome. And that was important to me.
I'm glad you found this and were able to see it as a worthwhile piece of writing. Thank you.
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Excellent
Thanks for the reveal / I can amost see it now.
& and no Texas Hold'em / you're too fast for me / lol -
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My pleasure. This form of poetry is designed to hold the meaning back from the reader, giving him only what images and metaphor were inspired by it, allowing him to interpret something entirely personal and different into and from the poem. I think it's a great way exercise in learning and mastering the art of depiction.
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WHOA ! YOU'RE TOO MUCH.
Seriously dude. I'm not sure if I want to know where that came from...lol Almost as if you were trying out for the movie sequal of "a Christmas Nighmare" I am really impressed with rythim and the ancient majgik spell, your tome evoked. Well done / said the guest of the cannibal.
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Well let's see. Part one, "Ore", follows the elements of steel from their creation to their conversion into steel. Part two, "Corpse", is focused on the skyscraper in various sorts of my own sort of way. Part three, "Course", is inspired by meditations on the mechanization of human society. It starts in daylight, on a city street, pans out to a hilltop at night overlooking a city, pans further out back to daylight to about 42k feet, then pans all the way out to behold the night side of the earth.
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Hi Erin. I've already told you what I initially thought about each segment. Needless to say, this is another excellent work of your genius.
I agree that man's activities has changed the face of the Earth more than any natural activities--perhaps, more drastic than the strongest earthquakes and volcanic eruptions if we are to consider the period of our existence as against the millions of years it took those geologic phenomena to take place. Perhaps, the stars who pass through our orbit every million years (if there is such a thing) would never recognize the Earth now. Which brings me to think, this must be a write of a comebacking spirit. Or maybe of a star who feels a part of him in the ores(which was very clear to me in the first stanza)....and to his disappointment, in the corpse-like skyscrapers that he never thought would be the sad end-use of his potentials.
Man is part of nature, of creation. But our thinking that as its caretaker we are higher than all of creation seems to have done more harm than benefit to the world we are supposed to take care of. Throughout ages, man's activities have always been about his own benefit--his survival first, and now his development first. Laws all over the world reflect that the welfare of a person always comes first over a tree, that alleviation of poverty hence development is a priority over environmental protection. And all of man's actions simply reflect that among all creation it is us who have the least understanding of the world we live in. We don't deserve to be its guardian then.
For all our abuses and selfishness, we have made not only our own extinction faster but probably also of the world's. Global warming tells us that the cycle is already toward its end. When it comes, the skyscrapers will melt like lavas, and all of man will be among the ores. And if other life will mine the Earth later, chances are they'd be disappointed to find a lot of pyrites--they're the ores with human composition. Man is really a fools gold.
Hey! I was down when I started this, but I'm feeling better now. Somehow, reflecting that extinction is the ultimate equalizer is uplifting lol. Seriously, this piece gave me a different perspective of life. If only man has the patience of nature, we do not need to conquer another world. So, will that be your next trisect?
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It's odd isn't it? The way the realization that we'll all return to the stars, one way or the other, can be an enormous consolation.
Honestly I don't believe life is meant to be eternal, too much changes too often for that really to be possible. The ideal of an ever unchanging heaven where we would live forever in bliss is also a romanticized fallacy, because even in such a place, paradise it self would be a hell of eternal monotony after a short while.
Everything yearns toward self-abolition, even the atoms, the protons and electrons, the quarks and particles, and the fine grains of the dream-time. Everything yearns to realize its true nature, which can only be done through the abolition of one's perceived self. -
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I still believe in heaven and eternal life though. I have long accepted and found peace that I will never find answer to all questions. I just believe.
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Discolored patches stretch and fade from view—
membranes taking on a sickly hue—
an ever growing quilt expanding abstract themes
flung beyond the grasp of human thought.
That's a lovely stanza there. It gives me the thought of a tapestry old and worn, the tapestry of life. A song I had to sing in high school. Lol. Your poem here seems very articulate, I can't grasp the flow well but I enjoy the description. This stanza in particular caught my eye. I really did enjoy it. Bravo.
~Amy
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Ah yes! This was a difficult stanza. I set Google Earth to about 42k feet above Ukiah, California, looking north at about a 35 degree angle. Then I set it moving east toward Maryland, watching for two full hours as composite images of the earth moved by, taking mental notes all the while. And this was the stanza that grew from that exercise.
A tapestry of life! Yes! Old and worn, thinning and threadbare, ever more fragile and dull. This does seem to be what's becoming of our one and only home, Earth.
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YOW!
Lovely, darkly beautiful, haunting and realistically cynical. Well done!
Line 41 is so guided you feel like you are flying through it.
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Mmm, "haunting and realistically cynical". Now this is my kind of compliment! Glad you enjoyed and thanks for leaving your thoughts!
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Awesome!
The imagery was fantastic! I could actually visualize the portraits in my mind! Wowie!! Mind blowing!!! Excellent job and congrats on making it into the spotlight!
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Yes this 'form' is very much about visually presenting ideas and feelings without ever once stating those ideas or feelings. It's quite the challenge!
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awsomess
you have a great, magnificent,awsomess poem right here you dont care how long it is but you do care about the meanings and the emotions going on in your poem and that makes a great writer i love your poem keep writing on man keep writeing on!!
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Glad you enjoyed! Thanks for stopping in, having a look, and leaving your thoughts!
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"People in their right minds never take pride in their
talents." Miss Maudie, from "To Kill a Mockingbird"
Your a good man, Erin Thomas! -
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Yeah there's no point. Better to take pride in some of the work those talents produce.
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Wowzers! Visual and extremely well written.
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I love reading a poem where I don't trip once reading from start to finish. Your diligence shows poet.
Good job.
Paul
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Ah good to hear! Yes I try not to trip my readers unintentionally.
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Amazing
This was a very well written poem. The wording you used really added to the feeling of the poem and the form of the poem was amazing. Great work.
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Outstanding
I loved this stanza:
They rise as if from out the earth, a maze
of beams and columns stretched against the haze,
looming like the relic frames of ancient beasts,
massive specters moaning on the wind.
What impressed me with this poem was the imagery you chose it also has an abstract quality about it leaving the mind to wonder -especially in the last section. A well-written and thoughtful poem.
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Ah yes! I'd say this was the goal, to take the reader on a journey that leaves her wondering about the landscape and how it got the way it is. And the stanza you point out I was particularly happy with. Thanks for reading! And for enjoying!
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human element and elements from nature perfectly blended here to ponder over .......very well written
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Glad you enjoyed!
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wow wow wow wow wow
The first two stanzas have a scientific feel to it, as if you're describing the beginnings of the universe or our own planet. I enjoyed those the most.
This poem is just unbelievable, great penning!!
"Like mausoleums raised to mark the open
graves where hopes lie wasting in corrosion,
great facades reflect with every sunset whisper
traces of the hollowness within them."
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"where great malignant tumors feed upon the current,
welled from out the heart of mass confusion."
These were my favorite lines. I also like how you sped things up without any pauses in the very last stanza, it was a good ending to the poem. Thanks for sharing!
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The mausoleum stanza I think is my personal favorite as well. I'm glad you enjoyed, triste. And doubly glad you commented and let me know your favorite portions.
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Colossal, indeed!
You’re saying that it took you three months to do this? I think it took you 37 years, and it’s still a great feat because this is alchemy in itself, you wouldn’t have achieved it without the learnings you had all your life. Once again you’ve put substance—and beautifully at that—to things that many do not even notice or should I say, don’t care about. You don’t just show to us the imagery of a pile of rocks or the feel of being an ant looking at skyscrapers before him, but you bring us into an experience that provokes not only thoughts but realizations from us not just because of your awesome depiction of things but because you always make an effort to let us see them from a vantage point that most of us won’t dare take on.
As to my interpretation and experience of the poem...
Reading this poem brought back memories of some of my mine visits. I didn’t have as much far-tracing thoughts about ores during that time, as you have in the first stanza. But somehow seeing how they are mined from deep down under (we had to take a lift to go down where the drilling and blasting were being done) caught me to ponder with both amazement and concern on the enormity of activities that it takes mankind to dig wealth. To me, the first line was a very striking start, although the last stanza is my favorite in the first segment, maybe because smelting is the most interesting part of mineral processing to me, especially visually. I see in this stanza a picture of a furnace, holding the mineral on fire, until the separated metal is slowly poured into the mold. I love too that you ended the stanza with a recognition of the “future” and “potential” that a thing that many only see as a dirt holds.
The title Corpse actually drew in my mind a picture of an unrehabilitated open pit mine, which I tell you is really ugly and depressing. But reading the entire segment made me feel like an ant wandering in the middle of Wall Street, where everyday is a struggle for me as I fear about the tall coffins that might fall and crush me anytime. This I think is the best stanza in terms of depiction. I have never actually seen a skyscraper, the buildings here in my place are not so tall, but I would surely be thrilled and amazed to see one. But having seen the twin towers of WTC drop to dust, I can understand the gloom depicted here. Dreams and achievements can be fragile, especially when foundation is hallow. “They cantilever labyrinths of gloom,” “graves where hopes lie wasting in corrosion…”oh they’re really great lines.
Ah the third segment is my favorite. It is both depictive of what our abuse of resources has done to the earth, and leaves the wisdom that our wanton disregard of the future generation will haunt us forever.
This is indeed a colossal piece from one Colossus of a poet. You should be proud of this work, Erin.
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Wow! Thank you! I love it when you comment, I get to see so deeply into my own writes with you because you take me so deeply into your experience with them.
A novelist can write a novel and walk away, but a poet can never understand his work unless he can see it through the eyes and experience of his readers. You always bring me the gift of insight into my own work.
Yes I found myself moving toward the potentials of raw materials with the first segment. I love how you were able to see the open pit mine in the second segment. I wouldn't have thought of this on my own. I think a trisect succeeds when a reader can read into the segments from her own experience, as you've so vividly done.
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Erin, my friend you truly are a good writer. I like the feeling of travelling through time and seeing changes as I read your piece. The phasing is above par (I expected that from you...lol). The vocabulary is appropriate - you always have a way with words and how you choose them.
I wish I will be able to write these forms with tension and passion like you do. Always a pleasure to read your work and again you've proven why you are one of a handful poets here that I am looking forward into reading.
This is really good.
Keep sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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The phasing is something I learned from my time with the ghazal. It can lend itself toward some pretty powerful writes.
I think the reason I can approach this form with so much passion is because it's my form. I created it to help me practice and learn the art of depiction. An art I very much want to master.
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Alright Erin, my very FIRST impression is evolution and ending with the human race destroying the earth with every skyscraper and freeway built, however, this could just be my frame of mind of present... I see in Ore, the beginning of Evolution, dust and mineral fragments. In Corpse, I see the dinosaurs from birth to museum, and in course, I see exactly that, the course that most of the human race has chosen to take in destroying what was in ore simple beauty in the barest of elements... Hope my rambling made sense to you. I did not feel as attatched to this poem as I have some of your others. As my mind frame changes I am going to come back and re-read to see if I see something different, which is entirely possible with your writes, one more definate reason that I love reading them. I see something different everytime and that is what makes it so great!!!
Thanks for posting
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Ah yes, your rambling makes perfect sense to me.
Thank you for taking the time to share your impressions with me! I love it.
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Terrific +
One of the best tri-sects to date Erin!
(Why can't I
write like that?)LOLRegards,
John-Las Vegas
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Write like what? What aspect of this are you interested in emulating? Maybe I can give you some exercises that would help?
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Awesome
I felt like I was there
It was very moving.
I thought "Corpse" was about old memories/wounds being reopened. Well whatever it was really about it was very detailed and amazing.
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Ah my first comment on "Alchemy". Would you believe this poem took me about three months to write? Don't ask why, I'm not certain. But I am, now that it's finished, studying the poem itself as if it were written by someone else, in hopes to gain some insight into why it proved to be such a challenging effort.
I appreciate your thoughts on the second segment, "Corpse". Very interesting. If you had interpretations of the first and third segments as well, I'd love to hear them.
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