I find myself
mesmerized by eyes
blown across affection's
sweet Virginia breeze
wind whispers ignition
of a smile birthed phoenix
from blaze of touch
eastern spines invite caress
where hopes become hammer
smithing arms to conquer dreams
lay down your guard
let my arrow find your heart
for no blood is shed
from passion's pierce
never again will you succumb
to torturous nights
behind enemy lines
for I will be the parachute
carrying you far into realms
of shared solitude
we will land amongst wandered lily
and bloom new beginnings
between valleys welcoming
rush showered soft
Author notes
A contest entry
- Marry Me? by luna-midnight.
1000 points, ended August 18, 2008, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Groovy
This is sickeningly sweet.
LMAO
But it's written so well it's almost SOUR.
Okay...maybe not (about the sour thing--it IS written well
).
Virginia..nice ref. there.
"wind whispers ignition"
NICE. I like the word 'ignition'...usually, the wind calls my name & that's it.
"smithing arms to conquer dreams"
This makes me think of video games with 'smithing' & 'conquer'. LoL...like a QUEST.
I like that
"for no blood is shed/from passion's pierce"
Weird.
But good.
Blah...the rest is good.
I'm lazy.
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Outstanding
This poem is full of dense imagery and I liked the way you developed the love theme making the poem seem very real. You have created a strong poem that feels as if someone has put their arms around you - protecting from the storm. I'm sure your loved one would be thrilled to read this
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This is my favourite stanza:
lay down your guard
let my arrow find your heart
for no blood is shed
from passion's pierce
Its so full of meaning... i loved your poem its beautiful!!
Diamond Butterfly x -
awwww this is really beautiful Dan
thanks for entering and good luck. and the picture is intresting, hehe..looks like pillows ^_^
but take care
Stephanie ♥
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Wow! This is awesome and a half! I loved it.
lay down your guard
let my arrow find your heart
for no blood is shed
from passion's pierce
just beautiful! -
How romantic! Showering someone with love and strength to be their parachute when they need one! This really is a piece that any heart would love to have written for them.
4th stanza is my favourite as it is just too gorgeous!!!
Wonderful bro!
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sigh...i'd say yes too, especially if it was on bended knee and delivered with a kiss
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Waiting for an answer to this question is taking you so very long...
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write already
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make me!
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i am the judge, and im very impatient for your entry
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According to the end date I have till the 14th
hehe I wont take that long -
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i can change the ending date
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You wouldnt!!
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i would to get your entry sooner
muhahhahahahahha -
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Ok Ok, I will try to have it done sometime in the very near future.
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haha, im joking, take your time
im giving you a hard time cause you are my bestie
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Either way I will try not to make you wait an exceedingly long length of time.
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why thank you then
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Maybe you'll win
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