How can one recapture; get time back?
Those moments that were squandered?
Is there ever really a formal re-write?
With way too much taken for granted,
whole episodes explode without notice.
Sliced sceneries escape our consciousness.
Subliminal secretions flow untethered.
The watchman has been routinely deleted.
Purposeful insight casually assaulted.
Rounds of turmoilish entities flourish.
In ways beyond imagination's apt grasp;
lulls of layover mentalities reek havoc.
The wind no longer swirls welcome relief.
Left in this vein and mode, lies dissipations.
Rivers of wasteful contingents take notes,
as layer after layer reveals the crude.
Laughing participles dance delight of ignorance.
Languishing in the plight of the utterly unrealized.
The escape hatch looms, paused only momentarily
for even a minuscule awakening of some keen sorts;
but staunch denial's wrap attention has over-ridden all.
Author notes
we burn like the flames and you are not even aware...Unknown
In a list
A contest entry
- even... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended August 15, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My 30th Contest! Your Best Pre-write Ever! by Salt Therapy.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel Free...
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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your word choice was very good
well written piece
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Thanks
lol
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In ways beyond imagination's apt grasp;
lulls of layover mentalities reek havoc.
The wind no longer swirls welcome relief.
Left in this vein and mode, lies dissipations.
Rivers of wasteful contingents take notes,
as layer after layer reveals the crude.
very imaginative. Lovelyyyyyyyyy
:] thanks for entering
good luck
~ Kerri -
what do you mean no spammming lol
a good piece of poetry which flows smoothly along, i am nover trying to reclaim time, if anything i seek to waste it away more often than not, the quicker it is spent then the quicker it is all over.
a good piece of poetry which flows smoothly along, i am nover trying to reclaim time, if anything i seek to waste it away more often than not, the quicker it is spent then the quicker it is all over.
a good piece of poetry which flows smoothly along, i am nover trying to reclaim time, if anything i seek to waste it away more often than not, the quicker it is spent then the quicker it is all over.
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Ian please don't rush it lol its over too soon as it is
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feck the world and all who are in it right now to me pat
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The thoughts are imaged with the depth of life....Well done my friend..I love it....My thanks for sharing it
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Your expression of the quote is vividly painted in the reality of life. You have done a excellent poem, the read was awesome......
novy
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Thank you so much, lol.
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Patricia!
This is beautiful! It starts out as sort of an oblique or rhetorical perusal of the cause/effect of the way we burn (our time). Can the burned time be recovered? Your metaphoric second verse lists the many things we shun or lose. The third verse utilizes even deeper metaphor which perhaps suggests the way we burn through idleness (layover mentalities) leads to dissipations. Finally, in the most nebulous verse, we are treated to a deluge of abstract impressions which are like the wisps of smoke to the rest of the poem which is the fire. Whether intentional or subliminal the end result is nothing short of brilliant! I think you may need to join a group for abstractionists!
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Wow, after I get a dictionary to break this review down to size hahahaha just kidding, mostly hahaha thanks for this very nice review, one I will treasure
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