i.
I held myself closely;
mimicries paving paths
as you craved affection
within matresses:
pushing, shoving
integrity to
waste.
ii.
Rain scattered;
a scarlet rush
upon closed scars
created by plastic
blades resembled metal
bars grasping air
contaminated by tongue
tips
as you touch -
infiltration.
iii.
The patterns stretch,
etching nightmares
along corridors,
cramming breath
in cracks.
iv.
I split under
symphonies,
sonatas convincing
me to
self-destruct
and fear
appeared before
its cause.
v.
Completeness breaks
in your embrace
enduring shifts -
you twist, sort.
distorting me
but I remain
the same.
Author notes
My fingers itched for a while,
waiting for me
to write,
to open,
to close myself
within these words:
I try,
I plan,
I can't escape.
- Chandni
A contest entry
- God called in sick today. by Puking Faerie Dust.
700 points, ended August 15, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come One, Come All - The Circus Is In Town by lowercase prelude.
4000 points, ended October 15, 2008, 105 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - favorites only! prewrites i haven't commented on. by sideways hourglass.
650 points, ended August 20, 18 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Now you tell me:
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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Loved this. No criticism. This is solid, precisely written, and quite powerful too.
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TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD you!
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hrrrmmmm?
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oh my daysssss this is wow!!! i love ur work!!! my best line 'I split under symphonies,sonatas convincing
me to self-destruct' and how can i have a least favorite line that's impossible! ah-mazing! xxx
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I've read this a few times now and I love it more every time.
Wonderful descriptions, and I felt the separation with the numerals worked gret for this. I've always loved your imagery and how you word things; it's intelligent (which is sooo refreshing nowadays) and still fiesty 
Thanks for entering, and good luck! 
Jeanette*~
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You're just an expert flatterer - don't lie.
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Why would I lie?
You being stinky isn't a lie!
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You never said I was
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STINKY!
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I really, really like the fourth stanza!!!
Thank you for sharing this in my contest! -
Wow!
I read this a coupla times and the initial feeling stayed with me. Wow!
the fragmentation of the thoughts and images, a glimpse at a time, was intense!
X
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A very intense poem filled with powerful imagery. I'm not sure how to interpret some of it--I should reread it a few more times and ponder it some more, I think. I like it alot.
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thanks
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A Really amazing poem! You have included a lot of imagery in the poem which draws the reader in. The beginning of the poem is used effectively and sets a great start for the rest of the poem. You ended off the poem really well which left me craving for more! The title is what grabbed my attention and got me to read your poem.
Great work!
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Thank you!
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This poem was pretty trippy. I know that feeling - you want to write SO damn bad but nothing can come out because your so holed up. I's still having issues with it. But this was great I was amazed at how much imagery you managed to push into here. Just enough to make the reader melt with the poem. You did awesome hun your really done nothing but get better since I last read from you
-Jordanne -
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Thanks hun
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oohh wow..this is very powerful, you did better than mine
i enjoyed reading this alot, keep writting and take care
Stephanie ♥
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shush you.
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why shush?
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Although I am not a big fan of free verse, the emotional power of this made it a write I shall not soon forget.
Very well done my friend
Roses
raker
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Eh. I haven't been able to write. I can sit down for hours and my mind just blanks out.
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cool AFI title for that contest... Great write, especially the ending, it brings an awareness... a reckoning.. great write!!!
♥
whisper
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I love it, Chandni. You're a beautiful poerson.
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one of your strongest!
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I wish you would help me to understand
you better. I feel as if I know your heart,
but I am so lost when it comes to your mind.
I read your poetry all the time, but I don't
leave comments because you always leave me lost
for words. One of these days I am going to
figure out what really makes you tick, because
as the years go by you amaze me more and more.
I am not sure if I got this right, but are you ok?
Anyway know that your Granny loves you, more
than ever.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Granny
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To honestly tell you the truth, sometimes I don't know what goes on in my head, myself. But the one thing I do understand is that the world is very ugly - and I'm tired of seeing it all.
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I like it.. grim as it reads.
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