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all this murder

Missing image

Silhouetted behind tattered lace curtains in her favorite chair rocking,
she patiently waits. Occasionally she peaks beyond the worn, dirty sepia, any minute company will arrive. Winter's Ball is underway, and she's calmly prepared herself for the night of her life.

Nothing can stifle her excitement.

The captain would have been her date. Pushing long black hair back behind her ear, she determines it was his fault. He'd driven her to do it, damn him.  The weather reacted without warning. Hard cold rain gushed, pelted from brood of sky. Icy winds shrieked through naked trees, branches stabbing, damning, accusing, condemning.

 

She shrugs it off, what could they know?
They couldn't have seen a thing.  

It was the smell that lingered, the air heavy with pungent iron-rich stench of fresh blood.  Slaughterhouse blood. Nice...

a moment came when sadness crept.
Only a moment.

Her husband was a sea captain, and left her in aching loneliness most nights. What she lacked in looks, she made up for with practicality. He had no doubt her love be true. Kept him sated, happy, healthy, adored.
The newlyweds hardly quarreled.
Until little sister moved in.

Little sister outshone her in everything, looks being the first thing people noticed. Adept at conversation, loaded with girlish charm, she possessed a granite-sharpened mind. Beaus came and went. Happier she was too, with the ruthless finish every one of them.

Captain breezed in, seablown salt crusted on whiskers.

Yet, he came alive quickly enough upon noticing little sister. Damn.

Breathtaking. 

The word kept pushing all other business with wife aside...

firmly plump, ripe for picking,

 

Wife refused to admit she'd been aware of the exchange between them, better not to interrupt the natural course of fate, she surmised.. Trouble gnawed from inside out. The jealousy was enough to crush the breath right out of her. 

 

Later that night, outside her sister's room, wife hesitated.

Her husband was in there.

Animal grunts, pitter-pat noises as iron bedframe

rocked violently under her husband's large, rutting body.

 

That's when blood poured from the walls, from the folds of her nightdress she found her kindling axe and commenced to flail until the weapon grew too heavy. She left it buried in the middle of his skull.

 

Dead in his dressing gown, with an erection. Fitting.
Little sister hurried to cover her nakedness. Little whore!

Big sister gave herself no time to think. She yanked the axe out of her husband's head, and let loose her fury. Not a soul could have known how many blows it took. Her sister was dead at her feet.

Her feet!
How ironic!


Later she set about cleaning up the scene.

Blood was everywhere, the walls, the high ceiling. She was covered in it.
Frantically she scrubbed her face and arms almost as if she could scrub away the memory, of what she'd done..

 

but nevermind all that now..

Tonight, her only desire was to dance, to forget what happened, or how much she'll miss the both of them. She changed silently before her carriage came. Adorned in the velvety number her husband claimed had always been his favorite.

She'd wear it for him.

Now she sits and dreams lovely dreams of her night ahead. She'll drink and make merry, be so happy not a soul will guess she'd anything to do with this nightmare.

Besides, all this murder was giving her a terrible headache. . .

 

 

 

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Author notes

written November 2008
image credit:
http://www.dorchesterhistoricalsociety.org/images/1298-lemuel-clap-house.jpg

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16
  • Astonishing

    Chilling I want more, hee hee this is an awesome poem and so well done it gave me goose flesh, I love it
    Good luck in the contest.

  • Eeeekkk!!
    This was awesome! And spine tingling!
    Very vivid and had lots of imagery.Loved this!

  • a brrrriliant tale it gggot mmmee all shhakkkey was sensual too my pants are off and im bailing out if there i will get breakfast else where .. and damn women and their headaches lol thank you for entering and good luck

  • a brrrriliant tale it gggot mmmee all shhakkkey was sensual too my pants are off and im bailing out if there i will get breakfast else where .. and damn women and their headaches lol thank you for entering and good luck


  • Quill
    September 12, 2008
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    Quite a chilling tale you have spun,deliciously dark!


  • badnovocaine
    August 8, 2008
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    Nice, this is a remarkable story. Very descriptive. I love this and im glad i read it.


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    August 6, 2008

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    Like it? Heck yeah I did!! You definitely have a talent for story telling. I could see the story unfold vividly in my mind. This is fantastic. VERY well written. Thanks so much for entering my contest and good luck!


  • IansCyberspace silver member
    August 4, 2008

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    Marvellous description!

    I was captivated from beginning to end. You have the talent for trapping minds and dragging them through the scenes you present. We feel the fury of it all, we experience the temptation and draw back in horror as we participate moving from occupying one personality in the plot to another as we do so. That's talent!


  • ShaShay
    August 3, 2008

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    Very inticing story. You told it very well and used great vocabulay to get the point across. I don't always finish long writes but this held my attention. Lizzie Bordonish but better ending. LOL Pen on...~Poo~


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    August 3, 2008

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    This is an interesting take on the house prompt. I definitely see the threads of the Lizzy Borden story in your work.

  • Ace - LightWithinMe
    August 3, 2008

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    Hello.

    The write is very well done, flows at a decent pace, detail where it should be, and left to the imagination for it to allow the reader to fill in the gaps, and thus increase relatable it is. The big sister, reads like she has a split personality, which makes her all the more frightening, for what appears to be a due to extreme emotions is then slowly questioned more and more, by me anyway, as she then takes on the normality of the night ahead. We see a glimpse of this straight away though, with the irony of her sitting at her sisters feet, certainly calm enough to note the irony.

    Then there is the calmness to leave the bodies there with the assuredness that the guests wont come up, again this reveals a side to here which before this point we do not see; for it is all emotions.

    Not only that the 'She'd wear it for him'. A twisted sense of tribute, but the final twist where we see the complete opposite of the emotion ridden woman, is the inconvenience of it all for it has brought a headache.

    The only thing I had a slight issue with is this line "In a fruitless attempt to clam herself,", and what it suggests; to me someone noting irony, scrubbing although frantic, doesn't seem to be scrubbing in a lack of control type of way, already suggests she is more than calm.

    Also the flipping of her, to reveal her other side; this line doesn't fit in, as all lines after the irony are showing the previously unseen side of her, although perhaps the only way it fits in is to reveal a final sliver of humanity in her descent. Depends on how you want that line to be extrapolated really.

    Anyway, overall, I thought it was very well told, descriptive language but not too heavy so the pace is slowed down. A very good write. I wish you well in the contest.

    My regards.


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    August 2, 2008

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    The gruesomeness reminded me of Lizzy Borden, too...This, my Jin is a very well written piece...even with the length of it, I still hung on to every line, to follow the story through...I wish I could write something as this is, so marvelously astonishing...
    Love ya'.....jeremi


  • shecantstopfalling.
    August 2, 2008
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    haha wow...that was awesome!normally I dont like long poems but this is an exeption! great write!


  • jcat gold member
    August 2, 2008

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    This was FANTASTIC!!!! WOW......you have a knack for the story telling my friend!! I went to the link provided and read the little ditty about the house so now I am really in love with this piece!! You need to move it to storytelling and turn it into a real novel!! Very well done and best wishes


  • Tercil gold member
    August 2, 2008

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    the observations gets one on the mood to ask themselves, what composure there is to crumble? The mammoth bid to saturate the many avenues with suspence, is like one of them who dunnit trips, which end up with the murder weapon in what room, and by whom. . and there I was, always thinking the 'waiter' had done it. Good attempt here.


  • penman gold member
    August 1, 2008

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    Wonderful

    Oh my you truly wove and incredible tale with this one. So full of amazing images and descriptions. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 16 of 16