Your legacy of words construe
A mind in keen array,
An asset shared alone by few,
For me - they point the way!
I take those tales, you wrote with flair
Revise to now - from then,
A student of a debonair -
No ordinary man!
Some turn away, with mere disgust
When verse is rhymed with sound;
They feel the sense is lost to lust
And miss the flow profound.
I run from this repulsive force
Of short attention span,
Your works, for me, the best of course -
No ordinary man!
If you and I, by chance, could meet,
I’d hope you stay and share;
Ensure this lass, you’re truly sweet
And wise beyond compare;
You’d see beyond this mortal place
Where life for you began,
Then span that gap with Godly grace -
No ordinary man!
© 2008 Joy A. Burki-Watson
Author notes
My poem is dedicated to an "Old poet" ...
The Ordinary Man by Robert Service
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/21351-Robert-W-Service-The-Ordinary-Man
If you and I should chance to meet,
I guess you wouldn't care;
I'm sure you'd pass me in the street
As if I wasn't there;
You'd never look me in the face,
My modest mug to scan,
Because I'm just a commonplace
And Ordinary Man.
But then, it may be, you are too
A guy of every day,
Who does the job he's told to do
And takes the wife his pay;
Who makes a home and kids his care,
And works with pick or pen. . . .
Why, Pal, I guess we're just a pair
Of Ordinary Men.
We plug away and make no fuss,
Our feats are never crowned;
And yet it's common coves like us
Who make the world go round.
And as we steer a steady course
By God's predestined plan,
Hats off to that almighty Force:
THE ORDINARY MAN.
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 7 Old - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please take time to share your comments ...
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Well, I think...
that you did this honorable poet an honorable service indeed...I have not yet aquainted myself with him I am rather embarassed to confess, but methinks it high time I embarked on a bit more reading ahem...needless to say, I enjoyed immensely both poems on this page, thank you for the introduction
John
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I love the work of Robert Service and I enjoyed your work. Service's work is more colloquial and that is something I strive for in my work. My one comment is that I would use "no ordinary man" rather than "not ordinary man".
When I started writing poetry I only wrote rhymed metered poems and have since wrtten in other form including free verse. In conversations with local friends I'd found a prejudice against rhymed poetry and over time have argued that it still should have a place in poetry. The problem is so much of it is done very poorly. Now my friends are changing their tune. I've pointed out that every art form has limits the artist must overcome and that in poetry overcoming the obstacles and limits of form and rhyme may be the true art of poetry. Many poets who refuse to write rhymed, metered poetry simply just can't.
Keep writing and don't ignore or dismiss any form.
Jim -
Thank you for your entry in the contest. A very interesting and enjoyable poem.
Congratulations on the HM, well deserved.
Sue and Jeff
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Job well done. Keep it up.
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Very nice ...
and very nicely done.
Good luck in the contest.
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Ah, I read this as a comment on Old Poetry where I help out, for some odd reason I missed it here.
I once wrote a poem ages ago about the ordinary guy...I never knew back then that Service had beaten me to it...it's just as well...mine sucked, lol.
You mentioned rhyme in your poem, so let me harangue for a minute.
Good readers don't limit themselves to one style (so I say.) Those who claim rhyming poetry is bad or passe or those who oppose free verse...or prose or whatever...they don't get the full grasp of literature, of it's beauty, it's expanse...it's like saying you only like roses and ignore the rest of the flower garden. It is one thing to prefer a type of poetry, quite another to disparage other forms (and I won't even get into the nefarious reasons why they do that, lol)
Anyway, your poem is the kind that I'd think "ordinary" guys would long to read. One that knows the value, understands the actions and motivations of those who others overlook.
What I really like about this poem is that it's a hybrid. It's part a tribute to that ordinary man, part a reply and tribute to Service...but more than those two things, it is about the poems voice. That speaker's desire to meet that stable, dependable, hard working, ordinary man. I imagine there are a lot of men and women out there searching for that sane, normal match...just like I'm searching for one who likes clowns, Moxie and rambling, poorly written short stories...oh my, maybe she does exist! lol.
Sorry, I temporarily lost control of the sanity switch, but your poem was quite good!
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You've hit this nail squarely on the head. The rhyme and rhythmn are exquisite and the message is profound. Had I not seen the author I would have sworn it was a continuation of Robert Service's poem. Methinks I may have had to settle for second place if you were a contestant instead of the host in your recent contest.
Excellent, excellent work my friend.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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