Storms brew in tempestuous breaths
winds spiral out of control
Lovers cavorting within the unknown
of what their destinies will hold
Tears fall, their passion aches
consummating their love for the final time
Climatic screams echo within earths
gratuitous demise
A contest entry
- Challenge#5: a poem in 40 words by Virgoan.
600 points, ended August 16, 2008, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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i like the transparency of thoughts into words in this piece.
thanks for sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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A VERY BEAUTIFUL PIECE, INDEED - FROM A VERY BEAUTIFUL LADY!
Tears fall, their passion aches
consummating their love for the final time
No one wants to face that final time, Sugar - for love should last forever and a day - on earth and then onward into heaven! GOOD LUCK in the contest with this fine piece, Baby - and THANKS 'SO MUCH' for sharing it with me - on a rainy Saturday that had quite a storm brewing, indeed - while I was at THE FEAST OF THE BLESSED SACRAMENT with me camera! Despite the pouring rain - I managed to get some fine pics of people running from the rain and walking with their umbrellas -and the bear and sandwiches were wonderful, too - even if they were watered down a little form teardrops
f
a
l
l
i
n
g
d
o
w
n
from the heavens!
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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I believe true love does last forever - it does go beyond death. Death isn't final it is the beginning of a new journey. (Hark at me telling you) LOL!! Thank you for always leaving such lovely comments, a pleasure to recieve and read.
Love you ~sugar~ xxx
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Nice.
Beautiful words, sis. Great short story of 2 lovers sharing themselves with each other. Good one.
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Thank you so much bro..always enjoy reading your comments.
Love &
~sugar~ 
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Lovely words sis
I really enjoyed reading this entry. What a challenge, it's an awesome piece. Good luck sis
e
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Thank you sis..I enjoyed the challenge.
Appreciate your comments as always
~sugar~
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Begging the question: which is better, the first time, the last time, or all those times in between?
The answer: they are all the same, one is as good as the other, though for different reasons.
The first is good for all the vibrant excitement the newness brings.
The middle is good because of the learning process that teaches each the needs of the other.
And the last is good because of the pain, the excruciating pain that must be endured so we can go on with chins held high.
All are important, and all are special; they are just part of being in love. Love would never be held in such high esteem if it weren't for the suffering that goes along with it.
I love you,
B
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All of them are very special B..Thank you for your lovely comment..your words are so true. Always a pleasure to have you read.
Love you ~sugar~
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absolutely beautiful
This poem is beautiful, both in the subject and the execution. Your words are not superfluous, nor are they overly simplified. This is really quite close to perfection, and I can't find anything I don't like or could have been written better.
With you permission I would like to try and illustrate this.
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Thank you so much for your wonderful comment...I'm speechless. Could you give me some idea what you have in mind for an illustration..if you wouldn't mind.
All the best ~sugar~
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I was thinking two people in embrace, one has long dark hair and the wind wraps it around both lovers. They are standing on a precipice and there are dark clouds lit very slightly by the end of a sunset.
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Your idea sounds stunning..along the lines of what I had pictured please feel free to do it.
~sugar~
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I agree with everyone else!
This is a powerful, emotional write only limited by the word limit count. Your last two lines are a great poetic finish. Water and earth don't always create mud. Your mix of these two elements is quite fertile. Once again, I see you evolving in your writes.
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Thank you sweetie...Appreciate your lovely comment. Thought it was about to to start writing again. Always a pleasure to have you read and comment.
Love ~sweetness~ xxx
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Popped on for just a minute honey. I got despairing, deep and devouring love here. A love that is so so pure and heartfelt that it leaves a dull ache within the confines of the very souls it touches.
An aching love that is beyond anything anyone can ever imagine. A wonderful, breathtaking piece of work that speaks truely of what deep love means. We fall, down down, deeper and down.
All My love
Wayne Leon
xxxxxx
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Hiya baby, WHOOOHOOO! nice to see you pop up. Thank you for your wonderful comment means so much to me..Your words ring so true..Take care hon.
Wishing you all the best
All My Love
Chelle xxxxxxx
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Oh wow
Sensual doom ! what a fantastic way to bring lust into this write.
Best wishes in the contest hun
Julie
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Thank you Julie for your super comment
Valued and appreciated
~sugar~
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This felt powerful and emotional the final showing of true love as the earth ends. Amazing write hon in 40 words. I can see them together in the final throes as it all ends their souls joined together for all time. Very intense and passionate.
to you Emma
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Thank you hon...I am glad you felt what I put. The emotion the need to be together for all time.
Your words always encourage me
Always appreciated
~sugar~
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