we fired shrapnel
at expectations
& leaned back on calloused heels
to paint self portraits
on cellophane
with cheap watercolors
i inhaled your influence like butane
and clawed my way through
rose colored lenses
to trade them in
for apathy
and a sailor's tongue
it was almost an accident;
like when we filled
awkward silences
with flicks of our lighters
to add more scars on our lungs
and i'll never forget
you telling me
i was the only one
who ever looked cool smoking
porcelain ashtrays painted perfection
against tiled bathroom walls
and a freezing bathtub
filling the crowded space
with the cancerous vapor
of our youth
& the season changed
like your too-old boyfriends
and hair color
but
even through the tears
our smiles remained
Author notes
This is a memoir of the year I turned thirteen and the things that happened with one friend in particular as we both matured that year... way more than we should have. But I don't regret one second of it.
I'm not so sure about it... I'll probably go through and change a few things later on today. But until then, this is what we're all stuck with. Hope this is what you're looking for!
Also!
"porcelain ashtrays painted perfection
against tiled bathroom walls
and a freezing bathtub
filling the crowded space
with the cancerous vapor
of our youth"
That verse is about how my friend and I would stay up all night and chainsmoke inside the tiny, cramped bathroom in my grandparent's house. We had some of our best conversations there... so it was a HUGE part of that year for me.
In a list
A contest entry
- A year in reverse. by bonjourbunnie.
700 points, ended August 5, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Reading this poem makes me feel like I was there too.
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this too is amazing. I love this more than i can describe... as you know i'm not a smoker... but i can see how this could be something that would become a cherished memory, something the two of you bonded over. this actually reminds me of one of my friends and myself and something we'd do together sort of like that... this was just great.
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Very touching. I can almost imagine being there in that bathroom. I enjoyed reading this immensely, thank you.
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Wow this is an awesome poem!!! It deffinetly deserved gold. Wow what a year you must have had lol. One of the best poems iv read in a while.
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This is way good!
love the personification and imagery you have weaved into this tale of maturity...and growth
i inhaled your influence like butane
and clawed my way through
rose colored lenses
to trade them in
for apathy
and a sailor's tongue
fantastic stanza here but it is all great poetry..
♥Becky♥
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I absolutely adore this piece! You had me sucked in from the first two lines; it's filled with so many beautiful metaphors and images, it flows so gracefully. Thank you for taking the time to write something so spectacular.
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....
i was a bit confused but i suppose in a way i understand what you're talking about. growing up too damn quickly sucks at times. i know what you mean,doesn't seem like i'm 20 and i haven't had chance to do much of anything
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the first three verses are stellar especially these lines...
'and clawed my way through
rose colored lenses
to trade them in
for apathy
and a sailor's tongue'
those lines come close to describing how i've felt for a few years
i lost my way in the fifth stanza... i think it was the 'freezing bathtub'... but that's normal for me. i seldom read a poem that i 'get' the entire way through. there always seems to be at least a few lines that i can't pull meaning from
i really like and enjoy your style of writing
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