Come my children , lets go and play
We can ring aroung the roses all day
i want you to spin , i want you to play
I will watch you fall, and wait while Your body's decay
come over here and grab in my pocket
take out these magic posies
until you fall sick to the ground
as i dart to you like a rocket
Join me by the fire...
Jump right in
until i can grab your ashes
and share them with my kin
come join me to play
and we can ring around the roses all day.....
Author notes
"In the end, I may fall, but with you by my side, it will be as if I had not fallen at all" In your AN so I know that you read the rules
Ummmm.... i have no clue what to say...my name is VampireBrat
option 1
lol
ok.... so this was for a contest , its a twist on Ring around the roses!
It's supposed to be about this creepy man.. taking in kids and killing them!
A contest entry
- Wicked Nursery Rhymes - What Really Happened? by Wilted Rose Bush.
500 points, ended August 11, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Nursery Rhymes by Dmonik.
1750 points, ended August 30, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WTF IS THAT?! by UnManned4Ever.
1000 points, ended October 28, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Share your poems with me by trekkergirl.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 174 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm done with this! (options) by PsychoAnalysis.
850 points, ended November 4, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your 'Gold' Is All The Rage by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended November 5, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
creepy?
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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This really was creepy....thanks for your entry lol
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Thisis very creativive. I thin kthis is really cool. Nice take on the option, nice work. Best of luck in your contests.
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okay this is very interesting take on ring around the roses you have. Very creative. Good write. Thanks for sharing this and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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This is really good. I liked it. It had a really good twist to it. But my question is: who is this character? not for the contest sakes but for my own. this is very intriguing
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BRILLIANT!!!
Your going in my top favorites column!
xxx
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this is.. very haunting O.O
its GOOD! XD
I like it. Creepy.. very creepy[lol] but BEAUTIFUL!!
<33
Great job, hun!
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Thanks for your Entry
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very interesting write, I enjoyed reading it. =] It was nicely written and I love the idea of putting a dark twist on to an old childrens ryhme.
Excellent write.
x-Pretty-Odd-x <3 -
It not only was supposed to be about be about that, but it is about that. you portrayed it well. I'm impressed by your creativity.
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kool
that was kool; definitely interesting. i liked it a lot
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This was very nicely written. I was a bit disappointed by the structure as it wasnt very regular and the third stanza didnt have any rhyming in like the rest, but it was a very good twist and a nicely written poem.
Well done and good luck -
........... freaky girl! FREAKY!!!! lol but I still loved it xD for some twisted reason. it was awesome. I wish thee luck! :3 wuv you girl!
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oOo i absolutly loved this! such a wonderful, dark twist to this nursery rhyme.
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well i loved it its so dark so beautiful -bows-more than beautiful its perfect i loved every word it was so pashonet perfect once more i loved it great work
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that's very interesting actualy, that song is actualy about the plague were peoples bodies just started decaying, (years and years ago) i don't remember what the rosie and pocket full of possies were about but i know the ashes ashes (people decaying) and we all fall down (the people finaly died from it) just an interesting fact, my spanish teacher told my class about it, i thought it was somewhat ironic, nice write and best of luck in the contest
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aww ty!!
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Wow, good job hun!
I like the whole creepy feel, it is pretty amazing!
lol
Good job!
Spelling errors, but only a few.
I think it is creative!
lol
Good write! -
A nicely twisted take on the old rhyme
different to my version of the same nursery rhyme, very twisted in your delivery and somewhat dark. Good luck in contest. -
Omg i dont think i have written something so perveted!! ITS CREEPIN ME OUT!
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Ooooooooooh, no wonder the title made me giggle. It was creepy but I thought it would be funny creepy. This is just preverted creepy. Not good. The poem is great though. I thought of a creepy perverted man, even before reading the ANs. NICELY DONE!
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