Charred dreams crashed into asphalt.
Is this the measure of our days?
Drive a nail into my soul;
gaping wounds I try to camouflage.
Everyone is armed with violent arsenals.
Ready for attack; their judgement is clouded.
Opinions collide as assumptions occur.
I wish to reconcile lost days.
However you're resistant to such attempts.
It's a fictional assault and battery;
one of the mind to send us insane.
Stalked by issues we cannot face,
we become ravenous for a shard of reality.
Suddenly from levels we cannot fathom,
extreme and blinding supernova energy erupts.
It has arrived to alleviate our pain.
Yet it only succeeds in intensifying...
Memories and feelings that were once bleached out
are revealed in excruciating digital revelations.
We now realize our nearly criminal actions.
It seems that our sanity is marred once more.
Perhaps off to the asylum we all shall go.
Stuck there forever until the last petal falls
as we rant through all that is happening.
What have we become so suddenly?
Stabilize this unrivaled supposed innocence
before it sends us into an intricate oblivion.
The pale plasticity of the lives we lead
is elevated to the height of our attention.
Materialized into view; carved into stone.
Shock rocks down into our spinal nerves;
shaking us at the core of what we've become.
It was as though it was lying in wait,
on a pressurized system perhaps?
Waiting to show itself and sparkle;
becoming known like a glittering gem.
We changed ourselves, did we not?
It is now inscribed into our very marrow;
we cannot escape all that has been done.
We now have but tokens from before.
Small recollections from our pasts,
like fading shadows
in this new found "light".
Author notes
Measure
Charred
Drive
Nail
Reconcile
Intricacies
Resistent
Arsenal
Assault
Gaping
Insane
Battery
Asylum
Assumption
Stalk
Criminal
Unrivaled
Collide
Judgment
Ravenous
Supernova
Alleviate
Pale
Camouflage
Petal
Gem
Level
Fiction
Bleach
Stabilize
Digital/Digitized
Shard
Extreme
Mar/Marred
Pressurized
Exposure
Elevate
Reveal
Excruciating
Innocence
Oblivion
Token
Materialize
Violent
Inscribed
Carved
Rant
Marrow
Spinal
I did change some of the tenses, but I used them all. I'm not sure if this is that great, but I rather like it. Hope you do too. If it doesn't make sense just ask, but I think I will try to let the poem show you its meaning rather than me tell you. Enjoy!
A contest entry
- FIVE YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
5000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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You did an excellent, astounding & brilliant job with this masterpiece. Congratulations on the trophy. You deserved the gold my friend. God bless you always in everything you do and write and keep up the excellent work. I look forward to reading much more from you as my time will permit.
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Your first line ROCKS MY SOCKS! What a great image. You really do have talent you know.
'drive a nail...gaping wounds' Not a bad image necessarily, but it is borderline emo and cliche with the wounds. Still, not bad.
'I wish to reconcile lost days' Beautiful.
'spinal nerves' is a little redundant. most of our nerve endings travel through the spine. I like the phrasing though.
'Glittering gem' not bad, but a tad cliche.
When I found out that this was a word bank, I was even more impressed. Very well done. Worthy of the green for sure.
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Thanks.
I actually spent a decent amount of time making this one. I'll probably do a little bit more editing soon as well. Just to make it better.
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OH MY GOD!!!
I do like it! You did a wonderuful job.
I really love the ending. I agree with my good friend, Flare, though - I can't pick out a favorite part because it is all so great!
You did not disappoint! -
Hey, you used as many as I did!!
Awesome!
I can only see a missing "n" in "criminal," and a little dyslexia in "excruciating," but even so, this is a rock-awesome poem about the fall of the minds and hearts of men. Adequately titled, too - if not directed at some, then all of us...what have we become?
The imagery was great. This is one poem that I cannot single out any particular part or line, because I like it all. Very impressive wordsmanship. ^.^ (I think I made up a word...ah well. Suiting nevertheless. =) )
Amazing work! Best of luck to you in the contest. ^.^
--Flare
o}--{=======>
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Awesome.
Well, there were a lot more typos than that. I just never hit spell-check. Oops. Thanks for reminding me.
Glad you liked it.
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Aw, I told ya it'd be awesome. ^.^ You knew I'd like it, too!
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Eh, well I didn;t know you'd like it, but I hoped.
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Well, your works tend never to disappoint. ^.^
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I try. ^-^
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If you really use all these words, I'm going to be so freaking impressed. Can't wait to see this!
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