Sinking into threads woven in soft golds
Ruby reds and chunks of skylight fallen
Curving around the soft flesh of times old
They are calling, if you will only listen ...
An elven warrior quivers in his steel armor
Raising his sword to fight the thriving evil
Blood smoke haunts the sky once pure azure
Sweat coats his brow when the bones do rattle
Rabid wolves cry out to the dying skies
Ripping limbs, and ending so many lives
Small ones scatter in the wake as kin dies
Howling in bloodlust driving deeper the knives
Armies wreak havoc and cry at the sight
Monsters, shadows, and demons from lore
Bloodied are all by Bedlams' sneering knight
Licking blood many wounds, settling the score
Silk strands shine dully the filament thread
A kidnapped princess hung out to dry
A pallid face frozen with a look of dread
A once beautiful face now unable to cry
The landscape burns as the dragons' slay
Steel-plated beasts with calculating stares
Flying on leathery wings in a blood-tinged day
Roaring fire to alight all's worst nightmares
Hearts pound aloud like a steady drum in fear
As the blank-eyes of evil caress the war
Tearing away flesh and all they hold dear
The trail of bodies leading to a land so far
Cries of pain and anger torn from each side
Bows fly on heartstrings torn for vengeance
Killing left and right, not recalling who'd died
They left their souls behind, but can barely feel the absence ...
Tears fall distorted from cruel minds disturbed
Snakeskin coats the sallowed, hollow bones arisen
The serpants lick their fangs, their hunger uncurbed
Venom dripping waiting to release souls from their prison
Death waits impatient for rewards to reap
Running his fingers along the edge of his scythe
Licking the salt from they dried remains they weep
Sending forth his minions as they slowly writhe
And then there was quiet when this battle did end
Blackbirds pick at the remains and ghosts wander
Glass-eyed and bone-weary without bruised skin to mend
Drifting slowly to the lives as they grow less fonder
Dust falls from the chronicles of a world ethereal
Threadbare, the tapestry colors to light slowly bleed
Sunlight fades the unending gore as it does mottle
Where the bodies are still, but the eyes still plead.
Author notes
Lol, I want this tapestry.
Scratch that, I want to be IN this tapestry.
In a list
A contest entry
- Tapestry ( PIF) by Freed by Mercy.
900 points, ended August 16, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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good job
second read is a dream
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Great job! From the elven warrior to the damsel in distress to the dragon slayer... I like the poem. I love fantasy. I enjoyed the time I spent with your poem. Write on, poet.
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Really not my kind of poetry, but well written just the same.
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Bloody 'ell!
I thought this might be about something nice, like embroidery, or needlework.
It's a bit of a shock, but extremely well-written.
To be pedantic, the 1st quarter of the poem incorporates a lot of half-rhymes, but then when you get into full flow, the rhyming is excellent. I would consider re-writing the 1st 2 verses to perfect the piece. I also picked up a couple of things which you may wish to edit :-
"Serpents" is spelled thus, and I think you mean "their" dried remains.
Lastly, the "did" and the "does" near the end bugs me. I always think using those words is a cop-out. There will be an alternative which sounds better.
Still, like I said, I am being rather pedantic, it was an excellent write, and well worth 3 bananas.
Regards,
Robin.
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very good
are you holding out for a hero? -
this si so vivid...you would make a great fantasy writer! I love the ending!
Hearts pound aloud like a steady drum in fear
As the blank-eyes of evil caress the war
Tearing away flesh and all they hold dear
The trail of bodies leading to a land so far
these lines were also awesome!! -
It's very vivid, I'll give you that, and I like the high fantasy edge it has. But somehow, it seemed to go on too long for my taste. Could just be me though.
I love the tapestry element though, so I do like this poem. Good job.
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Very nice. However, I find you have an overreliance on adjectives. Most of the time it doesn't bother me, but for some reason, in this poem it just seems too obvious.
I like the flow of this poem, though, and the picture it weaves. -
SSSThanks for the read.
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You wove a vivid tapestry full of visual images, actually images for all 5 senses to partake. You weave a grizzly tale; I would not want to be anywhere near this place.
Well done!
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