Butterfly Dreams

        I brushed her wing span-
        ned her body; lips touch-
        es linger in breathy gasp-
        ing for air, rigid teeth slide-
        ing hands lower; drink her cup-
        ped petals unfolding, hearts flutter-
        ing hair brushes skin, swiftly I enter-

ing climax, we stream vibrant color-

cold sweat

I woke up.

Author notes

10 lines(no more then)
Prompt: Picture
Credit: Butterfly_Tempting_by_shraphic

My suggestion for reading this is don't stop. Say the words at the end like it reads into the next.

In a list

D: Sensual/Erotica • next in list

A contest entry

Semi-Quickie by Angelflower. 600 points, ended August 2, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Critical Critique Desired.

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Poetic Tasha
August 23, 2008

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oooh really enjoyed this....
especially how you ended it with the last 2 phrases...
I woke up.

boo! waking up sucks sometimes lol
well done

Tasha
A Lonely Soul
August 8, 2008

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Very nice on the imagery, and I'm not use to the ending of the lines (the - as you did) it was quite interesting to read. I liked it and thought you did a good job with it. Keep up the good work
~~Tori~~
Angelflower
August 2, 2008

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Very intense.. I really loved this.. you did such a wonderful job.. the imagery was sensual and really breathing take thanks much for sharing!!! best of luck!! I really liked it

Angel
Broken-Bones
July 31, 2008

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I liked this a lot. I felt that the use of the broken words at the end of the lines made the piece feel really breathy, like you wrote this right in the moment of lovemaking or dreaming in this case. It was a truly sensual piece, well done on a great write.
- Age of Rain
  July 31, 2008
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  Thanks so much!
Fourthaxis
July 31, 2008

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You get the best dreams just before you wake up Cool effect "-"!