da'judge sid'da house, kids'n'truck were yurs
when ya'sid'ya'dun't love me n'more, hope ya'wer'surs
i seemed to'f run yur'truck into yur'house,
lef'a hole big nouf'fur anythin'wit'fo'legs includin'a'mose
da'kids seem't like jumpin'n'da'bed'f'yur'truck
it's amazin'ow fast lif'changes, how much't'can sud'n'ly suck
seems't me ya'canna'git'outta'yur'rut
would'a'ben'a'betta'fur'ya, if ya'da'kept yur'legs closed, ya'lil'slut
A contest entry
- Funny Rhymer Big Points by BuriedTreasures.
1700 points, ended July 31, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want to be READ? ENTER HERE! by Avatar of Innocence.
525 points, ended September 7, 2008, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 2009, 981 entries
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I actually think that this was really creative - you've certainly completely colloquialised your language, which was very niftily done - can't admit I like the tone of the poem [the swearing / name calling at the end isn't my prefered type of reading] BUT it fit in with the contet, so - nice job!
thanks for entering. -
Interesting and creative write--good luck to you!
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