It's Who I am

Dear Baby,
I know you don’t want to hear this,
But its time you understand.
It’s not a habit or a cry for help,
It’s me; it’s who I am.

I don’t do it because of you
Or because I wish to die.
I simply just need another way
Of getting through the night.

I’ve asked you why males drive so fast
And you answer ‘I don’t know’
Just like you need a v8 engine,
I need to see my dirty blood flow.

I don’t know how to explain it,
The peace that it lets me feel,
For just one small moment in time
My invisible pain starts to heal.

Please don’t hate me for it,
Everyone has their flaws.
One day I might be able to stop,
I may be able to close this door.
Until then baby just hold me close,
And let your warmth wash away my pain,
Let me know that my past,
Will never come round again.

It may be crazy what I do,
Believing I have a poisoned soul.
But when I cut baby,
For one small moment, I’m the one in control.

xox