Shivering with fear yet yearning for my evil being from the depths of hell.
I hold my breath as I sense his frightening presence.
Fangs kiss my lips and blood trickles down.
I tremble as my deadly beast drinks my crimson flow.
I beg to be taken as his claws rip me apart.
A deadly union,
my satanic demon creature and I.
My body is in ecstasy as I'm viciously ravished.
Forbidden love,
severe pleasurable pain.
As the devil calls,
my lover must go.
One more bloody kiss and I am left alone.
Now I will sit and wait for my next horrific adventure.
Author notes
The second poem is mine which I wrote a while ago.
A contest entry
- Twisted Love by Darkwell.
550 points, ended August 12, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns! by Beautiful-Mistake.
700 points, ended January 16, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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"My body is in ecstasy as I'm viciously ravished."
Very interesting, great write, and good luck in my contest!
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The contest has ended and we (Dark and I) are now judging. Best of luck and thanks so much for entering.
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The second poem reminds me of a twisted relationship that you can't get away from nor do you want to. The first poem reminds me of the aftermass of being in that relationship. Like the ending of it. You still want it, but he, whoever he is in this story, takes it away. Instead of waiting for him and dwelling on the past experiences with him, you, if it's really you in the story, just wants to go into another twisted relationship. Not positive, but twisted. Like you like it and prefer it that way. Nicely done!
Twisty Points For:
- Following the rules.
- Making it so vividly dark and twisted.
- The concept of twisted love.
- The idea of the characters in the story.
- I like the words that you use. You don't often see such words.
- The overall story. -
Wow there both Twisty poems and very vivid. i got the Vampyre feel from this too like sweaters did with the blood drinking. i really like the fine line you blurred between pleasure an pain too.
WTG! Good luck in the contest. Its up to Sweaters to give the twisty points
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I'm sorry, but we can't fully judge the contest until you put a copy of the poem that you "twistedly" (Not a word) rewrote. You have the concept of twisted love flowing throughout the poem, but we don't know if you used the same format as the original poem that you picked. That's why we need the copy. Along with the poem having to be about twisted love, it also has to be under the same rhyme, form, flow, or overall format as the original.
As for the poem itself:
I'm sure that you are talking about demons or vampires in this poem, but it makes me think of more "earthly" things. If that is the correct way to put it. It makes me think of that one person that is no good for you. You know the relationship is twisted and that no good will come from it. However, you can't resist it. You just keep going back for more and more. VERY TWISTED!
I love it. Just reread the rules, put a copy of the original poem, and then you’re done.
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