You say I didn’t love you could you be more obscene
When I told you I loved you I told you what I mean,
Now you’re far away from me never to come back
I have 13 cuts on my wrists I’m almost losing track
You caused this thing to happen to me you went and broke my heart
Ever since you left me I’ve only been falling apart,
I fell so hard and fell so fast I only wanted love
I loved you so much that you’re hard to let go of
I hate the lies I hate the truth
You stole my love you stole my youth,
I hate the things u said weren’t true
What I hate the most is that I still love you
I’m sorry for all that I’ve done
Wont you come back please my love
Don’t leave me now I need you here
I pray to god that you will hear,
This message that I’m sending you
This message of love, of regret of truth
was it my fault or was it yours
the yelling of hate the slam of doors,
these are the only sounds I hear
I said I’m sorry please listen my dear
So off I go to cut once more
My heart is here my heart I poured
Ill say once more ill say it again
I told you I’m sorry don’t cause me this pain
Author notes
hey this is my first poem and please be brutal lol but this is basicly a mix of some of my feelings and yeah thanks for reading but please be honest i would like it to improve
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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hey thanks alot every one and im curently working on some more but thanks again im gonna try taking a little more time on the rest thanks again
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awesome much
You say I didn’t love you could you be more obscene
When I told you I loved you I told you what I mean,
Now you’re far away from me never to come back
I have 13 cuts on my wrists I’m almost losing track
You caused this thing to happen to me you went and broke my heart
Ever since you left me I’ve only been falling apart,
I fell so hard and fell so fast I only wanted love
I loved you so much that you’re hard to let go of
I hate the lies I hate the truth
You stole my love you stole my youth,
I hate the things u said weren’t true
What I hate the most is that I still love you
I’m sorry for all that I’ve done
Wont you come back please my love
Don’t leave me now I need you here
I pray to god that you will hear,
This message that I’m sending you
This message of love, of regret of truth
was it my fault or was it yours
the yelling of hate the slam of doors,
these are the only sounds I hear
I said I’m sorry please listen my dear
So off I go to cut once more
My heart is here my heart I poured
Ill say once more ill say it again
I told you I’m sorry don’t cause me this pain
was my fav bit
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welcome to allpoetry
How sad and familair your words are to me. The words you have written here are so full of real emotion... the heart speaks (louder than anything else). I think this is good. You want to improve... you say, well keep writing. Let the words flow from within. Keep reading and writing.
I hope you enjoy the site.
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Hey. This is really good, especially for a first poem. It has a really good flow to it, and lots of emotion. On line 11, change 'u' to 'you', the rest of the poem is typed properly, so just so that it fits in better. Also, and this is just a suggestion, the line 'the yelling of hate the slam of doors,' I personally think it would flow better if it was 'slamming' rather 'slam'. That's just my opinion though.
All up this was a really good poem, you should be happy with it.
xox -
hey, this is really good for a first poem, im still working to improve mine, but it takes time lol.
bye.
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