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Heartless

Slowly my heart
is ripped from my chest
the blood flows down
as my life leaves
the tears flow down
as my happiness fleas
the hand crushes my heart
sending me into
an eternity of pain
my screams
echo through the ears
of the young
the old
the innocent
and the corrupted
what happened to the soul
the once happy soul
that lived in this empty space
where has it gone
why did it leave
no matter
it is gone forever
red bits ly on the floor
what used to be
my heart is
painted along the walls
the empty space
is dark and gloomy
and yet I live on
a heartless zombie
and the only thing that flows
are the bloody tears
down my cheeks

Author notes

I was sad and confused about something and when I get really emotional I write...and this is what I wrote....so yeah...enjoy my pain and suffering...^_^

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • butchbec
    November 20, 2008

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    I really liked this poem because it was just raw emotion, and i think raw emotion creates the best poetry. just a couple of spelling mistakes, and maybe if you were to revise this poem at any time you might want to show the reader a bit more of the depths of feeling as at the moment you are telling the reader how you feel.(which is fine, depends what you were aiming for) very emotive!!!


  • Nstlgc4Disaster
    November 20, 2008

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    I think the spacing is a little odd and does make the poem a little harder to read than it should be. From what I see here your a very emotional writer which really works for you in this poem. Its exelent. I'd just work on the spacing.


  • BehindTheShadow
    November 20, 2008
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    The emotions are flowing and the pain flows over on this introspective piece. Nice job.


  • Chazz
    November 20, 2008

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    This poem is full of a lot of emotion. I love the feeling it gives. I think the layout makes it a little hard to read. I also notice you don't capitalize or punctuate. I rarely punctuate my poems myself, but sometimes it helps separate different thoughts. Just my thought!


  • psycoticembrace
    November 20, 2008

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    well done

    I like it we all have felt that i think it expresses your pain or the pain you were trying to show well. you get applauds


  • FaerieNWonderland
    November 20, 2008

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    so beautifully written. i know all too well this pain. u put it into words so amazingly. i love this

1 - 6 of 6