As The Cb Scrolls (Episode 2)

Group Therapy Session 2

(sock) Alexis Leblanc: (walks in and looks around, wondering why no one is here yet) (Finds a seat and sits down, seeing that the remains of the last session have not been cleaned up) (looks around to make sure no one is around, and kicks Lucian's amputated Michael Jackson nose around like a soccer ball)

(Sayuri) Laurin Pilmier: (Sniffling softly, she wanders in, her eyes glassy red and face still tear stricken. She holds a tissue in her hand as she gently wipes at her face and takes a seat in one of the chairs. She is quiet, before all of a sudden bursting into a loud uproar of tears) Why, why, why?! I don't understand what I did to deserve this! That bastards gonna fucking pay...I'm gonna rip his balls off and shove them so far up his ass, that they come out his goddamn nose!

(Sock) Alexis LeBlanc: (jumps upon hearing Laurin's wails and abruptly ceases kicking the desevered nose, returning to her seat away from the others) (mutters to self) And I thought I had problems. (She sighs dramatically, then looks over at the corner, where she could have sworn she saw shadows moving)(talks to self again) But then again, I am at group therapy. I'm probably just being delusional. (looks confused) What? (sees Laurin) Oh god, you again.

(Sayuri) Laurin Pilmier: (Continues to cry, her head now in her hands as she shakes it frantically, yanking at her hair until she pulled strands out) (She whines loudly to herself, before stopping when she hears Alexis talking) (She then turns her gaze over to Alexis, who insists on sitting away from them and catches her glare, giving Alexis a glare of her own) Oh god, eh..OH GOD?! What... you got something to say to me, Miss? I'm so much better than the rest of you that I don't have to sit with you!? Come on, spill it! Or are you scared, like a little chicken, hmm? (She laughs, folding her hands under arms and flaps them like wings as she began to act like a chicken.)

(A.S.)Carlos " Aquario" Rodriguez, nicknamed Aquario: ( Walks into the therapy room, carrying his black motorcycle helmet, and wearing his signature black and blue leather jacket, completely pissed off) Jack had no right to talk to me like that!!!! He may be my boyfriend, but he doesn't have to walk over me!!! He will pay!!!!

Lucian: (makes his signature appearance out of the shadows, watching alexis kicking his nose around) So, how are you doing today Alexis ?

Alexis LeBlanc: (gives Lucian a funny look, then sighs) Good, fine...peachy. Whatever you want to hear.

Lucian: Sounds great (he laughs) So sarcastic, love

Alexis LeBlanc: (laughs) Well I'm in a therapist's office. If I say otherwise, I'll get hounded. (shakes head) Where's Dr. Rizzaro anyway, wasn't he supposed to be here already?

(A.S.)Aquario: (Looks at the people, calming down a little bit.)  Hi, my name is Carlos... you can call me Aquario.[to one of the ladies]( then pulls up a chair, and sits down on it backwards)

Alexis LeBlanc: (raises an eyebrow, looking at Aquario) Aquario? That's an...interesting name. (turns slightly in her chair to look at him, observing his jacket) I'm Alexis. And this is Lucian..And that...wailing, sobbing, pest over there...that's Laurin. Dr. Rizzario should be in soon.

Laurin Pilmier: (Calming herself down, she takes in a deep breath and went back over to her chair, sitting down in it. She proceeds to lean back, crossing her arms over her chest as she slumps down somewhat.) A pest, eh? Well, at least I'm not sitting there looking like an idiot and making use of my time here. I mean, we are suppose to be here to talk about our problems, aren't we? Keeping things bottled up inside, could make you explode... and personally, I don't want that to happen.

Lucian: (sits down) This should be interesting. I can't wait to see Dr. Rizzario's face when he see's us all here for his intervention. The poor guy just can't say no to a big nose

Dr.Rizzaro : (Strolls in, obviously forgetting that he is completely naked.) (He looks Laurin Pilmier in they eye and takes her glass eye out) Any one up for a good game of hackey sack?

Miduki Yamamuro, Jester M.D.: If you mean hackey sack, that we toss around someone we don't like, then yes I approve. Or, we could find somebody to tickle...

Lucian: (coughs) Hmmm... uh... Dr. Jester, what's happening?  (he shoves his pipe in his pocket & drops some visine, turns around and elbows Alexis)

Dr. Rizzaro: I mean where you kick a little ball up in the air... but instead I'm using someone's glass eye (takes a swig of his flask and kicks the eye to lucian)

Alexis: (laughs awkwardly) Oops.Uh... Dropped that. (leans down and picks up the visine) Contacts are drying my eyes out.(to Dr. Jester, then puts the Visine in her pocket)(winks at Lucian)

Lucian: (kicks the eye back to Dr. Rizzaro) Okay, so this whole therapy session thing... I don't think we're the ones who need the therapy; I mean, ok, so yeah I have a problem with someone sticking their hands in my pocket without asking or doing anything, (cough) government. And so I smoke a little weed after work at night... but I'm not beating my wife, or hitting some random kid as I'm driving down the street... but some prick tells me im doing some thing wrong (cough) government. And I have a problem with someone who doesn't give me or my wife a little help when we need it, but tells me it's ok to hand all of my tax dollars over to some random prick who thinks it's ok to trespass on my property while waving the flag of some other country. (cough) government. So, why is it that I'm here again? And if you tell me that I need anger management, Im going to pimp slap you back to your momma.

Dr. Rizzaro: I think you're right, Lucian. I say we give them pricks a reason to put us in therapy. I mean, I am here for alcoholism. I was just a lowly drunk until they put me in these meetings. I'm pissed. (tears a chairleg off of a near by chair causing laurin to fall) Lets do this!

Alexis: (stands up, looking at Laurin on the floor, then at Lucian and Dr. Rizzaro) Okay...what now?

Dr.Rizzaro: What now, you say? Now we take over the world my man. The whole world from Illinois to Kentucky!

Aquario: ( gets up out of his chair.) I'm open to taking over the world, and Dr. Rizzaro, are you aware that you are naked? (looks at Dr. Rizzaro with a quizzical, head cocked to the side, look.)

Alexis: (gasps) But why not Missouri?

Lucian: (looks at Dr. Rizzario, turning his head to the side) From Illinois to Kentucky ? I was talking about from California to the China Islands

Alexis: And by the way, I am NOT a man! I...don't think so, anyway... (frowns, then suddenly cheers up) Can we give the chinese lead poisoning?!

Aquario: (Looks at Alexis) that will not help, since the Chinese are already poisoned. They have been smog poisoned! Think of something more creative, like. . . ( grins devilishly) Wrapping them in wet rawhide, and setting them out in the sun!  That would be oh so joyous!

Lucian: I was thinking of making them watch Brady Bunch reruns over and over(chuckles softly)

Alexis: If we wrap them up in rawhide and set them in the sun, (she looks at Aquario) Then they'll get attacked and eaten by wolves. And it's against my religion to kill (shakes head and looks at Lucian) Beter, but I don't think that will work. Because, some people had to have liked the show for it to be as popular as it was. (sighs) You guys suck at taking over the world. (kicks Lucian's nose at Aqaurio)

Aquario: (moves back) Brady Bunch was the shizzle! (hums the Brady Bunch Theme, then stops himself) Here's an idea, we mass create a computer chip, tiny enough to be mistaken for a small pill. Then, we put them on the internet as some new drug, capable of making you 10 times more popular. Then, make them free, or close to it. Once several people have ordered them, we tap into the receiver frequency, and use voice commands to tell them to do whatever we want! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT!!!! (cackles loudly, then throws his hands up dramatically, accidently knocking over the bottle of Mountain Dew in his lap. It spills on the floor.) Oops, I'll get that.