Her presence once lingered by my side
Her opaque inspiration once provided
Is now displaced among the farthest valley
In my mind, out of reach
Words that came to me diaphanously
Linger in the past leaving a magnitude of query
She was the seraph to my Heaven
The azure to my crystal waters
The sound to my sigma
The answer to my enigma
The faith in my words
Has unfortunately dilapidated
My strength and survival forsaken
To an isolated environment
Where I am imprisoned and jaded
I am now tattered and torn
By Asphyxiation
Without her remedy of requiem
Without the grace in which was once bestowed by her
Without her carmine veins penetrating this vacuous heart
I am but an underprivileged,
Grotesque, waste of a being
And I need her sparkle of love and beauty
In order to not bring disgrace to my literature
With these delusions and this infectious disease
A wall has been borne
Keeping me from the written word
Without my kindred soul
I am but a shamed harlot
Standing in a manor full of maidens
It has been so long
And I am starting to hear that old melody
She sang for me
When I needed her beauty
To chime me through
A new poem, prose, song, haiku
I was on the verge of insanity
When out of the caverns of my mind
I saw in the mirror her reflection
Staring back at me
Through a veil of clouded tendencies
She found me
Author notes
Azure, Asphyxiation, carmine, dilapidated, diaphanously,enigma, harlot, opaque, query, requiem, seraph, tattered, vacuous, disease, displaced, delusions, forsaken, grotesque, harmony, isolated, jaded, kindred, remedy, sparkle, underprivileged, waste, verge.
A contest entry
- Lost in Darkness by Victoria of Aragon.
1050 points, ended August 20, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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this is very touching, i am new to this site, at least since June but have not posted any of my work except for a short poem contest i entered. i believe the contest helped the poet find just another way to express the gift she seems to possess through her poetry.
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Very beautiful and heart touching. Good use of the word bank. Luck in the contest. Pen on...~Poo~
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Okay. Now that you fixed your Author's Notes, I can comment on this properly.
Your poem left me, quite frankly, speachless. You have elegantly captured what my Muse is to me, how frustrating it is to lose her, and the relief of having her return.
I will admit, however, that at first I was concerned about this piece, seeing as how it was so long. Thankfully, I was greatly mistaken.
Sorry about being so anal about following the rules, daarling, but I just adored this piece too much to let it get disqualified over something so silly.
Best of luck, aand thank you for entering. -
My dear, dear poet. You neglected to follow the rules.
I will give you twenty-four hours to remedy this error. If it has not been solved by then, I am afraid I will have to disquaalify you. -
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I am not sure what you mean.. i used over 20 words with 42 lines.. if it is the categorie thng i put it under spiritual now.. is that alright?
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Re-read the rules. It's all laid out quite clearly.
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wow
Holy shit. That was fucking brilliant. Who is the she? A lover? A muse? This is the best I've ever seen someone do with a contest word bank. It's truly from your soul...you are obviously inspired and you are releasing some of your best work here (lyrical genius/gangster)....This is breathtakeningly beautiful. I'm like totally unable to make an constructive criticism....lol.....THis:
"She was the seraph to my Heaven
The azure to my crystal waters
The sound to my sigma
The answer to my enigma"
is sheer GOLD.
THe v's and s's in these two lines is beautiful assonance: "My strength and survival forsaken
To an isolated environment"
Also, the flowing of this stanza is undeniable:
"It has been so long
And I am starting to hear that old melody
She sang for me
When I needed her beauty
To chime me through
A new poem, prose, song, haiku"
Lastly, I want to comment on the beauty of the final lines and how flawlessly that tie into the title (not just because the same exact words are used but how you set the title up in the last few lines with the lines preceding it)....its a lovely circle. BRAVO. Now get to reading my new one PUNTA! "Time strectches...but it's not enough..."
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