Like a baluster she carried hope,
that splint between tarrying and abandonment,
trying to catch foot-caught eyes
as they ploughed their way through excuses.
Was she trapped between final drag
and the need to exhale stale promises?
Each addictive to her weakness,
her purblind need to believe
that she would not slip between his cracks,
and as she gazes through cacophony charades
painted in his fading words,
will she understand
that always doesn’t mean forever.
Author notes
Option 4
A contest entry
- The Prompt Coffee House: Prompt Challenge Round 1: Picture Prompts by Ceridwens Soul.
1050 points, ended August 4, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique Requested
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I am with hand to chest gasping at the power in this poem. My goodness that last line cut through me like butter with understanding. This comes from life experience. Excellent work her my friend. ~Pamela
-
-
Thank you my friend for the encouragement, but just lately I feel I have lost my way with my writing, something is missing, the ideas are there but the words never seem to be right.
-
-
This piece is heartbreakingly sad. You havee made the prompt your oen here.
'and as she gazes through cacophony charades
painted in his fading words,
will she understand
that always doesn’t mean forever.'
do any one of us understand that? And do we realise that when we say it? I am sure we mean it at the time though.
Thank you for sharing with us
Jem and Ju
-
OMG this just broke my heart Bro. The cruelity of wearing those rose colored glasses way too long....
Amazing as always!
My best to you in this round!
Jazzy
-
I haven't gotten to enjoy anything from you in a while my friend but you still hav ethe touch. This is amazing. Good luck in the contest.
Love, Cathy.
-
That splint between tarrying and abandonment, they are the moments when time takes its toll and she wonders whether to dust the balustrade or tear it down and re design. Tied up neatly with will she understand that always doesn't mean forever. It's not Mills and Boon and that's why it hits home. A tad unsure of cacophany charades, it works visually and literally but didn't roll off the tongue easily when read aloud, mind you, it may well just be my tongue that gets in a twist with that particular phrase dear poet.
-
Thank you for your entry, good luck!
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
