Star cross’d, heaven gazed;
the door into the dark.
Nails delved the mossy earth,
twined in its decay.
[We breathed rain on the wind.]
Sweet saprophyte, dank palmed,
virid eyed in twilight.
Silent Sikta smoothed our backs,
murmured her verdant requiem.
Lip-locked, fern lines traced
past trembling fingertips.
[I kissed the dewfall from your eyelids.]
Virescent amidst the cool roots;
the starfall burned brighter.
Author notes
probably eviddent here that the colour of inspiration here is...
green.
=]
(the best colour =D)
NOTE:
tasogare = twilight, in Japanese.
there are also a few allusions..
- romeo and juliet
- under milkwood
- twilight saga (stephanie meyer)
also, "Sikta" is referring to the "Sikta Spruce" tree, rather than the town.
that is all.
=]
[option #2...imagery, nature etc.]
A contest entry
- i deserve gold by Nicolette.
700 points, ended August 12, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Beautiful write. Thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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I never knew what the colour green was in japanese, that's a very beautiful word actually
. Beautiful piece too, green is a very nice colour, the colour of nature in my eyes... and, incidently, the colour of my eyes also!
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Some wonderfully soft imagery and excellent use of literature and vocabulary in this poem. I really liked the title because I love the application of foreign languages in poetry... it just gives it that extra "magic" or lends a mysterious character. A tight piece of writing - well done. Thank you for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Wow
This was brilliantly penned with beautiful imagery and deep meaning. I really loved this piece. Just amazing..
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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a good poem penned, i thought this was quite soft in the voice rather than a darker shade, the flow is gentle.
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elevated and masterful
I enjoyed the intellectual and literary realms into which your work took me. The first line is memorable.
"Sweet saprophyte" produces an image that 'dank palmed' almost brought to excellence: I would take another look at 'dank palmed' and see if you can fix this (though it's good, you can do even better). The next line is lush and verdant, resonates. "Lip-locked" -- you can do better, here, too, but the rest of your poem indicates that consummate understanding and skill on many levels that indicate you are a true poet, in love with words. Judyth Vary Baker
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thankyou, so much. i will work on touching it up. ^-^
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