if i left you for another girl
would you love me more?
if i had only six months to live
would you still be his?
just say that you used me
tell me you agree
say that we're over with
and just let me be
if your not ready for the truth
then say that i lose
tell me I wasn't for you
and I'm not the one you'd like to choose
say I never tried for you
tell me not ever again
shove me like you do
until you've reached the end
why can't you let me go
so i can hit the floor
your the reason why men lie
so we can just get by
so hit me with your broken words
tell me your just another bird
say you'd rather see me die
because all you do is keep me in your lie
Author notes
fates illusion
A contest entry
- Its all about the comments by Never.Give.Up.
700 points, ended August 11, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wow
This is very emotional. It's obvious it came straight from the heart - and I love poems like that.
This is well written. Good job.
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brao.
wow! colb my man. you've become an awsome writer. you've got a beautiful tallent. sucks that it hurts inside to make such a thing though.....stay strong my brotha. and keep writing.
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You deserved gold for this I think.so sad.I also think there is alot of bitterness and anger showed though there is the right for it to be there.You are so right someone can come in and take away everything and keep us in their lies.So much so that i really hurt for this person.I hope that this is not you and that this relationship has ended or that this was just something that you decided t write about.You did a great job on this poem you should be really proud.It was easy to understand and relate to.
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The thing I hate the most is someone who lies! They break your heart and take your trust away so you are never the same again!
"because all you do is keep me in your lie"
How true these words...I think it makes them feel good to see how long you will believe their lies.
Congrats on the Honorable!!
darlintlc
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Beautifully written!! I loved it so much
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Wow. This is strong. It's really good. Some lines don't rhyme, as I'm sure you already know. But it's still good, nonetheless. Nice poem. =]
~S~
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Oh..somtiems you are nowhere if you are lose in the path of love..and that is it...and my thanks for sharing such a hearfelt piece..well done...
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This is so heartfelt, my heart felt like it was breaking as i read every word.
A wonderful write and I wish you all the best in the contest.
Rose
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Well I think we can all relate to the sentiments expressed here. An honest and open write you have created here, thanks for sharing. Cheers.
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I've dealt with a lot of people like that. Best to just cut your losses and run, right? Nicely put together. Hope you do well in the contest. Cheers, mate.
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