the night calls to me, the scent of a feast
hiding in shadows and stalking the beast
agony rips my cold heart as the glass shatters
my soul cries to find the doomed
now is all that matters
the humans sing and dance and play saint and sinner
soon to be my dinner
no sound in the air as i float into his mind
his brain on fire, looking at my eyes
paralized
he moans as my fangs sink deep into his skin
blood giving me power i can feel within
i never kill them it wouldn't be right
i leave them wanting me, like the owl wants the night
full now, i kiss his lips and look up at the moon
i skip away humming "terror" O.o... its a "my ruin" tune
i am the Vampyre Barbie you see
ill skip into your life and take it with me ^.^
Author notes
The first poem I ever wrote
In a list
A contest entry
- Looking for Swans. [A Vampire Contest] by LoneFairrie.
1200 points, ended August 6, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come One, Come All - The Circus Is In Town by lowercase prelude.
4000 points, ended October 15, 2008, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark/Creative writes anyone??? by Kathraina.
1000 points, ended February 14, 32 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Haha this was really humorous to me for some reason!
Awsome write, the name REALLY caught my eye, and the story is great. Thanks for entering and good luck!
♥ Kathraina
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I like it! it's awesome!
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A very interesting piece I must say... The sporadic question marks had me wondering of their relevance... However still, for a first poem - this is quite good.
"he moans as my fangs sink deep into his skin
blood giving me power i can feel within
i never kill them it wouldn't be right
i leave them wanting me, like the owl wants the night "
These lines were more poignant for me - holding a weight and depth to go along with the rest. Nicely done!
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I must say from the title I didn't think I was going to like it. But the instant I was done reading I was very amazed. I LIKED IT ^_^
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awsome
i really like your poem, the flow jumps around a bit, but it somehow still works, the third verse was my favorite, good job
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Holy crap!
This was tremendous. A great character you introduced to us. This could make a good movie. Nice job, young poet.
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AMAZING
I'm absolutley envious. The first poem i remember writing (not counting my child hood) was horrid. Absolutley horrific. This is certainly something to be proud of. I love the concept as well. "vampyre Barbie" Beautiful darling.
=]
Love you!
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not too bad for your first one but to me it seems like the first two stanzas and the last two stanzas don't go together. it's like you changed the story in the middle of it
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i was young i needed the blood
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haha lol
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This is awesome
This was your very first poem I must say BRAVO tHIS is too great and I loved the little tune you used there .
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