thinking. i didn't mean it to go so far. but there you have it.

It's late
and i'm thinking again.
And I'm thinking, that this can't be.
Because I don't think
that i deserve you.
You and me.
well, that's an odd phrase.
Because, you see,
stuff like this doesn't happen to me
it happens in the movies. I happens to other girls
who are prettier,
smarter, funnier, better at sports,
better at games, just better.
How in the world do you care?
It's something i'm trying and trying
and trying
to understand
but i can't.
I just can't.
And I can't help but think
that i shouldn't have this.
It's a privilage not a right.
And i damn well better not expect
any privilages.
That's for other girls
that's for better girls.

You don't kiss a rock
because it's crying.
You don't hug a stone
to take away the pain.
I'm not crying...i'm not in pain
I'M NOT. I AM NOT. I...i...i am.

But you don't have to notice.
You don't because rocks carry on.
Rocks may crumble to pieces
but at least there's still a piece left,
at least one piece that will keep going.
Rocks. don't. get. loved.
they are cast into the sea by every passing child,
woman,
man.
and they come to shore again, caressed by
endless waves and when the waves leave them
in the hot dry places,
they are thrown away again. and again.
and again.

And that's ok.
because we rocks survive anyway.
be there a crystal inside or no.

And who can really find that out?
you have to break it to know.
And I wouldn't take that task lightly.
For when you break the rock and find
no crystals inside,
what then?
all you have a pieces that carry on
in spite of it all.
Pieces to small to be cast back into the sea
to be carressed by waves again,
but pieces doomed to keep going,
keep being.
because rocks never die.
they don't burn out like a fleeting
flame of glory.
they're not allowed to rest in peace.
no.
they are forever ground under the heals
of all who walk across the sand
casting rocks into the ocean with never a second thought;
this is what they may become if i throw it away too much,
if i do not even handle a rock with care.
For who could love a rock anyway...
crystal or no.