Forethought

Reaching out to some one, I bleed the truth I crave
My demise I fear when I wrench my heart from my sleeve
Cornered in a medial society trying to conform me
Into something I'm not, something I can never be
The emotions that I can't contain I carve out in words
Loving deeply in a web unrequited to ones who can't see
Holding dear to me the thoughts that seethe and roil
I tremble in the wake of the forethought of my demise

Lying here a sallowed, haunted earth
Yesterdays' mistakes tainting the air
Hovering like a dull grey cloud of hate
If some could've thought, if some one could've tried
Maybe we'd be happy, not so many would've died
Blue-tinged with sorrow, bitter tears fall
Seeking the wisdom to prevail amidst salted wounds
The forethought of the day haunts in every way

Shadows follow, derisive laughter cracking our souls
Cackling as they tear at our dignity
Feeding on the fear we shed like our second skin
As fading faerie lights try to guide our way
Fog hangs in lacy spirals on the deadened rose petals
Falling to a cold ground as they wish for the sky
Broken promises scream past as we're deafened
The forethought of the hopeful whispers tingling

Crawling past in a society intent on our ruin
Seeking to strip us of everything in a quest for beauty
A quest like a ticking time bomb
The end lying in wait like a rogue dragon
Waiting for us to crash and burn smoke pouring from its' nose
The greatest fantasy residing in a heart deadened young
Wishing to be something, seen by all as nothing
Kissing goodbye knowing that the forethought never lied

Like wrenching a limb from its tender, aching socket
Eyes pleading for mercy from a world having none of it
One person out some where, but rarely ever found
As our priorities drift and the razor runs deeper
Wishing to end lives that have only just begun
Hoping to whatever is out there it will get better
Cradling feeble dreams like a keening baby bird
Forethought raising anticipation as it cries out in pain

Cursed are the fragments of soul that wander aimlessly
Wandering, lost, seeking the pieces that will make it whole
Killing softly as they tear at capillaries, seeking solace
Strangers in our own skin that wants us not at all
Crawling backwards and forwards in a timer we're not welcome
Pity that we cannot see that slices stand side by side
Blind to each other, the idea clouding their minds
Shooting for stars that cut deep in their own forethought

Truth that is so sought is ignored and pushed aside
Love lost as innocence runs and hides from the cruelty
Wanting to find just a small niche that's safe and warm
Where we can love without fearing being hurt
And even lust without facing harsh consequences
Acid sizzles from the sky unforgiving
A place we naively think we are always in the clear
The demise of the forethought as we all finally die

Lucky are the few that can see past the deadly haze
Fling themselves into the lot they were given and just love
Catching the falling stars and seeing light, not the bruises
So painless the elves can dance in firelight yet again
Regardless of the shadow demons waiting where the firelight ends
Kiss goodbye, my dear, your fragile dreams and high hopes
Live just for now, for maybe now is all you will ever have
As I rethink my own forethought, and walk to the sky.