Fears of failing, of going unnoticed in this world
Of being passed over like another face in the crowd
Loneliness sinks in and there is nothing you won’t do
Down to your knees if necessary love is all you seek
No one even sees who you are
You pass along as just another lonely one
Doing what it takes to be held
False love but only lust
They hold on while you touch
Body to body but you want heart to heart
You won’t give up no matter what
Stumble fall break or crawl
You will go the distance
One taste is not enough you’re begging for attention
Another whore in today’s world society will call you
Searching for everything in anyone who will listen
Reaching out and reaching inside yourself hoping for an answer
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Ahh ur poetry is the story book to my life, what more can i say, another beautiful write.
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We've all been here, honey. We all mess up, but we have to learn to be strong. It's alright to lean on others when you need it, but you need your own strength as well.
Beautiful write. I love how honest it is!
-Cheers.
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you never fail in God's eyes. Someone always notices you whether you want to be noticed or not. Turn to God and friends when you're lonely. God will always love you.
This is a good poem, deep and emotional. Good luck tiffydawn08 -
This is so sad but very true too often. I know the feeling all too well. I like the way you were so descriptive and made people think about why someone might be what some might call a "slut" nice write!
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Harsh and beautiful. Great job of addressing the issue of sex as a means for love. Though you use second person, you show a great deal of sympathy and understanding for the subjects.
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Nice write. A piece that many can relate to, and it's written really well. Good luck finding everything you are looking for in life.
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Hmmmm yes this is sad. I know a lot of people feel like this, trying to find love me too. I like how it speaks to the heart. Nice jpb, keep up the great work!! =]
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Sad and Beautiful
I was rendered to tears as I remember my youthful struggle to find the love I so longed for...Body to body, but you want heart to heart...I couldn't have worded that better myself. Beautiful work darling. I hope you find what you are looking for so that your heartbreaking search will come to it's end.
~mandie~
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This actually is sadly beautiful. I have seen so many young girls these days wanting love. They give their body but in each sexual action a bit of their sould die. Love will find you hun, just be patient. Don't lose all of who you are before you find your true love. You will be pleasently surprised when love comes and taps you on the hsoulder from a most unexpected place. Keep your chin up my dear! Great write,
Stephanie
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this was a very interesting write. it gets the mind thinking while it holds your heart. i wanted to pick just one part that i really liked the i couldn't because i really liked the whole thing. keep up the beautiful work.
*~*bee*~* -
This hits alarmingly close to home for me. I think everyone has a time in their lives when they'd do anything for attention, even if it's the wrong kind. Thank you for sharing this, and keep writing.
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Certainly captures a portrait of sadness, tragedy almost. Minor crit - you might want to think about using some form of punctuation in order to clarify the flow/rhythm of this - even free verse has some form of structure - and you don't need to capitalize each line, try reworking it and seeing how the flow changes, you never know, you may like what you see. Nicely evocative, if dark write, thanks for sharing.
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Pretty interesting. You can sense the despair throughout. The best part, imo, was:
You pass along as just another lonely one
Doing what it takes to be held
False love but only lust
They hold on while you touch
Those lines are excellent.. keep writing.
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