voodoo

your eyes
are full of violence
dark like macchiatto storms and throwing me
into place with the stars in the night sky around me
sacrifice--
what does it mean to you?
a blazing hot word
a frigid white word with sharp edges
and hidden innuendos
to me it meant that needles caught my skin and spurted jewels
full of change into my veins,
i apologized like crazy
but they blossomed underneath me anyway
like beats in a drum
and even trying to hide them they poured through the cracks in my fingers
and i couldn't take back what i meant, wouldn't if i really could,
all because it meant the world to me to say it
or maybe just a smaller (more prettier, more painted)
portion of understanding-- much like myself
wish wish wish
i affirmed that i was your star and when asked
you admitted to having made some upon me
little confessions made it easy
to see your smile find me through
layers of dust and
several emptying beer cans
attached to drunken girls who wanted you too
i pretended not to notice the way
your eyes smoldered when you looked at me
but secretly i adored the facts
and decided that you were chasing me
like a stiff drink or an afterthought
(although i'm a straight no chaser kind of girl)
how did i know that i needed you?
was it you finding me
whispering half-chewed lies and crying when i thought
no one could see me do it
or you chasing me
through phone lines that all connected
me to him
either way i was haunted
so i let him go i gave him up
your wicked uncertain voodoo plucked me
out from his advances and
into your arms
and under the strength of your passion i wilted
like a flower in the heat
and all i see is you