your true self
only showing when one's alone
doing anything just to keep the secret
of the pain inside
smiles filled with lies
broken with the second glance
a mask to hide the truth
covering up what you cant see
lies to fool the naive
masks to fool the others
creating a world
where i can be lost
lies bringing tears
masks suffocating me
no one to hear me
no one to care
lost forever
to get the one thing i desire
from this heart broken world of hate
to be alone
Author notes
just a quick write, expains ALOT about me, so dont be too mean
A contest entry
- Want to be READ? ENTER HERE! by Avatar of Innocence.
525 points, ended September 7, 2008, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GO FOR GOLD (PRE-WRITE CONTEST! 10 spots only!!) by xXxIceQueenxXx.
400 points, ended August 10, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dead Inside by XxSuicidal-LovexX.
1500 points, ended August 9, 2008, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any constructive criticism???
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I know all too well what you're talking about here but moving on to the poem, it's very nicely written and I could really feel the pain and sadness...Wonderful! ... SINCERELY wish you all the best!
(P.S: unlike the other comment, I like the fact that this doesn't contain punctuation. It shows that the person really wants to rush through these moments and thoughts; again proving heart ache and suffering)
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Nice poem! I can totally relate, especially with that first stanza:
"your true self
only showing when one's alone
doing anything just to keep the secret
of the pain inside"
My only complaint would be more punctuation to help the poem flow better, and in the second to last stanza, you misspelled suffocation. (o instead of an i) Just a little something to help with your writing!
Thank you for sharing this in my contest! -
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thax soo much, my spelling isnt the best and i Appreciate it when people point out things.
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Wow, this is a very good poem, and I love how it describes you in such short stanzas. Great job on this...I can truly relate...
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I can relate to this is about three different ways. Nice, i enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering
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personally I loved it. I can relate to the feelings
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i love this. great job
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truly sad write hear i bleave this poem tells me you need conpanonship-bows- please dont think thos hollowed thoughts
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