The Song Edward Bear Would Like to Sing
Sad shelved dust marked each passing year, noting how
I’d been loved and loved each in their return.
My stuffed straw heart had never been broken,
each generation felt the unwavering devotion
that was me. Watched aqua orbs glistening with anticipation,
felt the greedy fat paws encircle, certain
I would be craved, adored, desired again.
Proud because she loved me, sharing dreams, tears,
a comfort when the black dog bit. I was
her patchworked blanket of protection in a hand kitted scarf,
her curator of secrets that went unshared, she opened
her soul and together we soared. Even when the
pillow days were dead, I watched over her, content in
the knowledge I’d shared her all.
Saw the new delights entrance her, harsh black smudges
snatch my girl as she drowned in bitter scarlet lips,
and when she no longer pressed her thoughts into me,
I felt my toy heart whither, crack and fade, and my
song remained unsung. No more whispered confidences,
so I danced alone to the tuneless memories she crooned
softly to herself, wishing for the day he’d come.
Saw each dream bubble and prick, each brief hope
dazzle, blaze then die like burning snow. How I
hated those worthless wanderings over her body, certain no
ridiculous boy might ever love her as I did. Still we shared
our seconds, each time another failed future raised a threat,
she'd reach for me, wrap her heart about my threadbear
head and love me as only she could.
Together we drained the years, my companions all
discarded, dwindled, disappeared, banished to the attic or worse,
but never me. I was king of the closet, emperor of all beneath
each padded paw, I saw them all, those time thickened faces,
meaningless names I could never remember, even if I wanted to.
I was constant, a fixed star in the universe of her, the only one
she ever wanted until that boy became the Man.
Silently I screamed as his half shy hesitancy seized her, deaf to
his invitation of acceptance, let the green gaze wash through my
unforgiving straw, failed to recognise the what he was.
So I remained, half remembered glass eyes growing cloudy
with neglect until a different song was born. Each note a
distant hymn of hope, a joyous dance of us , and knew,
one not too distant day, I’d learn how we loved again.
Author notes
Edward Bear's real name has been changed as he wishes to protect his identity. It's longer than I intended but he wanted the world to hear his song.
A contest entry
- Toy Inspired Poetry by AddenLee.
482 points, ended July 31, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
is this an authentic/credible poetic voice?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I liked the story even though it is quite long. The line division is interesting but I feel the poem would have more power and depth if the division was changed. Just as an example:
Sad shelved dust marked each passing year,
noting how I’d been loved and loved each in return.
My stuffed straw heart had never been broken,
each generation felt the unwavering devotion
that was me.
Watched aqua orbs glistening with anticipation,
felt the greedy fat paws encircle,
certain I would be craved, adored, desired again.
just an idea. Thank you for entering. -
Nice work
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Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have going on here. A very cute song for a very special bear. I think that we all have that special object or two that we hold onto from our childhoods. I thought you did a good job of talking about yours.
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The trials of growing up - the flow was great and my interest was kept throughout, even though it was long. Interesting form used - split lines. very prose style. Congrats on silver win too.
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There is some great imagery in this. Though it is longer then I normally like it held my attention which is a good thing. There is some good use of poetic device throughout end rhyme, alteration ect. I enjoyed the read and congratulation of the shiney silvery thingie
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Excellent
Very nicely done. Great imagery and flow.
Nevadapoet -
I like this piece a lot. I would say it is lacking in the child hood part and is a lot more a coming of age piece as many of those in this contest are. I would have wished for more in the actual childhood rather than the growing up, but I still high enjoyed this piece and would say leave it as is.
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The imagery in this is simply brilliant!!!! my fav line is Saw the new delights entrance her, harsh black smudges
snatch my girl as she drowned in bitter scarlet lips thats so cool. LOL great write, really well put together
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Really well written piece from a great angle. We all have things that helped us get through the trials that come with childhood and growing up, and as time goes on we tend to move on and forget about them. Definitely painted the picture well. Nice job, best of luck in the contest!!
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I love this poem! I think it was a good idea to make it this long, it was worth reading ^.^
Together we drained the years, my companions all
discarded, dwindled, disappeared, banished to the attic or worse,
but never me. I was king of the closet, emperor of all beneath
each padded paw, I saw them all, those time thickened faces,
meaningless names I could never remember, even if I wanted to.
I was constant, a fixed star in the universe of her, the only one
she ever wanted until that boy became the Man.
I don't know why but that's my favorite part! ^_^ Keep up the great work
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heyy this is sooo cute!!! it creates such images in the mind and tells a wonderful, tho sad, but still hopeful story. small question...cud u explain the word 'the' in line 3 of the last stanza? i got a lil confused!
but on the whole i found brilliant
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This is pretty good. The point of view is very unique, and the range of emotions from the speaker is fantastic. I particularly liked this:
Silently I screamed as his half shy hesitancy seized her, deaf to
his invitation of acceptance, let the green gaze wash through my
unforgiving straw, failed to recognise the what he was.
Good job, and good luck!
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