When I was far younger
I danced near the skies of hell
with someone far older.
He noticed what you didn't
that I had lots of nothing
and failure
scattered on my skin like freckles.
Later there were those,
who with taunts and belts
added to the collection.
They saturated me in their sin
until I thinned and knew little
of myself.
(Although I knew all of them.)
Then you came with your patchwork
quietly mending my holes.
I doubted and stood stiff
through the nights of alterations;
Sometimes batting away your skill.
Yet, here I am, my complexion
free again, of his blemishes.
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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A+
I just love your work. So much heart and soul in this poem . Love it! I have not visited the site much lately. Still having trouble getting over the loss of my youngest brother. I cared for him until he passed and it was so traumatic for me. Congrats on your marriage! Hope I can have some good poetry flowing soon. Love you for the help you have given me!
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I like this a LOT. I would use a word other than "holes," and maybe a stronger verb than "mending." But other than that, no complaints. We have a similar writing style, which makes it easy for me to follow your thought process. Well done.
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Thank you.
S
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I'm totally in love with this one. I only came back here because I'm about to move in to my dorm and need poetry for my walls... and I'm about to go through and rape your collection, bitch!
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Hah. You can't rape the willing Ashleigh, ya just can't. I'm in a giving mood. Oh hey, guess what? I got married!
So have at it. -
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Omg yeah! I saw that on your page-thingy. And I was all like "squeal" and such. I'm happy for you. Oh hey, guess what? I got into college! Oh score, like word. But yeah, I'm def gonna rape your shit from you. No questions.
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wow hey, this was different. But I really like the approach you took in writing about this.
Good work.
keep writing!
Beautiful.
-deep one
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Very nice. Neat concept!
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Thanks doll, its been a while. I'm glad my recent attempts aren't flops. : )
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Ah my sweet friendly ragamuffin may your dance be one that sets your spirit to flight. This is full of the songs of need and fear and catches that benign sense of humility when someone gifts the soul with care simply cause they do and you can't say no to it. It is nice to see you again setting your words on the line to flap in the breeze and tease fools like me into reading them.
Love,
Tom B.
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Well said- Thank you. And what has your pen achieved in my absence?
S -
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Some things beautiful, some things sad, I am going through a rough time right now because of losing vision in my left eye. So recently, some things rather flat. Glad to have you back, it is one more thing to smile about and congrats on getting married. May it be a blessing for your heart forever.
Love,
Tom B.
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This is a beautiful piece. It's triumphant and humble and just so great to read, knowing some of what's behind it.
I'm so happy for you Shirl, you seem to be really content right now, and I'm glad that's been erased. It's also great to read some more of your poetry! You still haven't lost the touch. I adore it
♥
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Hi hun- Ugh, am I ever glad to here from you. Your the main person I miss on AP... I guess most of my writes now will be getting pretty lovey dovey. But can you blame me? lol. I'm hopeless. Oh well, happiness is good. So catch up on school, fam, everything.
Hope your well,
S
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Interesting piece.
I liked the way you equated your newly cleared complexion with trading off the person who left those "blemishes" on you for another who helped in the task of "quietly mending my holes."
Very well done. It sounds like the experience has had a positive effect, so I say run with it.
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Thank you for the compliment. I confess the writing isn't my best, but it is a true experience that needed my pen. May I ask what led you to this poem?
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I was going through the list of new poems
and the title attracted my eye. Good title choice, and good job of putting the idea into words. I liked it, and I really liked the positive attitude it represents. -
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Thanks for letting me know. Honestly titles are my strong suit, where as I feel I lack in the actual poem as far as most of my entries go. But I appreciate the compliment.
Thanks again for stopping by,
S
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