One balmy night
n' moon in sight,
I heard a cry,
a sharp, "'tis I!"
Nevers twinged in fright
near taking fligh,
I caught a sigh
a soft, "'tis I."
Now full stone stil
tears about t' spill,
I wonder why,
she cries, "'tis I."
Knowing her not
nor her sad lot,
I can't pass bye,
for her, "'tis I!"
Two words instill
so deep a chill
in this mid July,
her sad, "'tis I."
No time to waste
I make all haste
to discover why
she cries, "'tis I!"
In a shadowy place
a downcast face
cries with red eye
to Heaven, "'tis I!"
To living hell
she must have fell
to plead and cry,
unsure, "'tis I."
Feeling so alone
to all unknown,
one final try,
a prayer, "'tis I."
Not daring a word
yet keenly heard
I wipe her eyes,
she sighs, "'tis I."
A penny loaf had
I gave it glad
to end that sigh
of her, "'tis I."
We sat awhile
and exchanged a smile
as I learned why
she cried, "'tis I."
She gained ill fame
by a false name
she would then deny
so called, "'tis I!"
She longed to claim
her proper name
and family tie
so hoped, "'tis I."
I promised aid
and plans were made;
we said goodbye,
no more, "'tis I."
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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not sure what to say. . . like others have said, sounds Poe-ish, and very mysterious, and sad. . .the echoing "'tis I" is lovely. . .
good work, Dannie. . . keep writing. . .
♠ Lady Elinor -
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Yes, you know, so many did say Poe...and I can see that in the repetition of the plea, he like to use that to play on the emotions...and of course I take my influences from all the pre-1900's world poets, but really the inspiration for this came from a discussion of Thomas Hood's work "The Bridge of Sighs"; that poem simply brakes my heart and I wanted something more hopeful for the subject. I do thank you heartily for your takin' the time to read my work and commentin' on it at that!
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You're most welcome. . .I, too, take most of my inspiration from the pre-1900s world poets. . .
I shall have to read that poem - can you believe I never have? 
I just can't find it anywhere. . .
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My dear raven seems to have visited your dreams..
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Some bitter sweet shadowy creature at any rate.
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Just had to comment on this one again. I love this. Think it's one of your best, and definitely a favorite of mine.
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Echoes of "The Raven"...great tempo.
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Oh to be compared, even slightly, to such a poet, is far beyond me...but I do thank you for your time and your kindness.
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Pure Brilliance
This was a well written poem, indeed. Insomnia played his role excellently alongside the many literary pieces that were teasing and inspiring the author. Of course, thoughts never seem to vanish from this very intelligent and perplex thinker. She has commented many times before that literature and poetry flow through her blood and have become a part of her spirit and soul, and this is another great example.
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Very nice, indeed
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Thank you.
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Tis I. Yes. I like the way it sort of vortexes to the end. Funnels the ideas, prompting the reader forward. Very tough to do sometimes, especially when there's an underlying story.
I loved this.
Jin
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Again, you work easily in the myth genre. Using a cut line length seems to bring the hidden woman's refrain
back each time with surprise.
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Thanks, that was scene whirled about in my head, all very surprising.
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I liked this. Is it just me, or does it seem to pick up pace until the narrator discovers the source of the 'tis I? The part that I really noticed it was this:
"No time to waste
I make all haste
to discover why
she cries, "'tis I!"
In a shadowy place
a downcast face
cries with red eye
to Heaven, "'tis I!"
To living hell
she must have fell
to plead and cry,
unsure, "'tis I.""
All in all, very nicely done.
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yes, it is meant to pick up because the narrator's curiosity/anxiety picks up. thanks for reading and commenting.
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Bravo
A fascinating poem! I loved it, poignant, brilliant and so very wonderfully done throughout. It recalls Thomas Hood's "Bridge of Sighs" though with a more pleasant ending. Bravo! Bravo!! Bravo!!!
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always the brilliant one you are dear friend! you know thinking of that poem and other things had me up 'til dawn. thank you for your generous comment. , Dannie
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