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Lijah's Dream

Stalking proudly
through the pampas
of her sleeping mind

Author notes

first attempt at this - she's my little cat who owns the garden

Does the imagery and use of language work?

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • sailor ptolema
    August 3, 2008

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    aww, this is a cute piece, very well done for you first try! A bit heavy on the metaphor and poetic diction, though, in L3. I'd like to see you describe what she is stalking maybe. and put that as L3

    thanks for entering and g'luck.

    -sailor ptolema


  • Swan song gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very very good!!!!! Excellent infact


  • Raptur3
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    teehee i thought this was cute, especially since I love cats. I wasnt sure what pampas was but other than that i like it.


  • Yorkshire Rose
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great description, and a very nice dream

  • kraazk05
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is cute.. great rhythm throughout.

    Is this the kitty in your picture?

    Good luck!

1 - 5 of 5