Letter To You

Dear you,
 
  I wanted to give you my silver locket.
The one with the picture of you
  deep inside.

  But I felt that a letter,
carefully chosen words,
  born only in love from the deepest places in my heart,
could better convey the message
  of my affection
      for you.

The sight of your hand reaching for anything near mine
    lights a fire within me, and I can all but close my eyes
and imagine your fingers and mine
  intertwined in a symbol of our lust.

Watching your lips meet
                  gingerly
        with hers
does not depress me as it should.
  My eyes are alight,
and I see only you and I.

I have dreamt of us every night,
in white and black,
      we kiss on stone benches
  and under red umbrellas.
But only in thought
    you were not with me in heart.

    What is to become of me?
Confessing my feelings
    in such a manner as this
is it a symbol of my continuing love,
  or a symbol of release
    from the image of you and I?

If upon reading this letter,
              this confession,
you decide suddenly
that you want me,
        my body,
            and my love,
I do not want you.
Love born from the discovery of the love of another
          is not what I seek.
Harboured love,
    the long awaited blooming
      of a rose hidden amoung weeds.
That is what my heart lives for.

But what could I bring you?

In questioning myself
  am I also questioning our proposed love?
I have only to offer
    cloudy days
  a warm bed
      and poetry.
I also make a good apple pie.
  But you do not like pastry,
      and my words are dry and bloodless.

Maybe you would prefer if I sent you only the locket,
    and you could think of it how you wished.
Therefore,
  it is sealed in this envolope.

Consider my proposals, if you find them agreeable.
If not, crush the locket and return this letter.

Either way,
  I will continue with my life,
having convinced myself throughout the process of writing this letter
      that my love for you,
        if not returned,
    is over.
And that, still, you should be aware
            that it exsisted.

With all my love,
            -----------