The greediness of your disgrace
sees championed opportunity
in me.
My nemesis staring me in the face
though I've only just arrived;
in infancy.
Born with a spirit already stolen
the realization decades away,
so naive.
Only to be returned to me broken
ignorant of the resentment of a traitor, you
damaged me.
Your voice would dominate for so many years
brainwashed, my own soul not trusted
unable to breathe
Torture so simplistic, yet so smart
results destined to flourish and prevail past the end of
your own misery.
You carved away at me like a piece of art
in reverse, your sheer purpose to strip away
the beauty.
Strength had been searching for me, to your painful dissappointment
And upon its approach, I trusted enough to welcome it, however so
cautiously.
Purposefully, my voice receives its annointment
my spirit to remain a bloody battlefield of
this epiphany.
Author notes
Option 1 --> "It's hard to think about growing up when you're right in the middle of it. It's just hard to know what you want. Sometimes there are so many voices in your head, it's difficult to know which one is yours."
A contest entry
- Quotes and Big Points!! by she still smiles x.
2000 points, ended August 7, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Wow. This hits a person right in the gut and then just keeps on coming. Great. Just great. And, at the moment, apropo huh?
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Funny, I thought of this same thing......
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"Born with a spirit already stolen" - just one of the many bits that stuck out to me in this piece
I know, life can be SO confusing sometimes... I get confused all the time! lol
HOPE
Amber
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Very true..and this is what the struglle of the life is..but when you are at peace then you know the truth..so peace is only need to know ourself..wonderful indeed...
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"Strength had been searching for me, to your painful dissappointment
And upon its approach, I trusted enough to welcome it, however so
cautiously..."
I love this. Your spirit is unbowed I think.
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Bitter and strong, like black coffee, a triple espresso. I like the rhythm and the assonance, echoes and beats of pain and defiance resonate. The narrator finds strength, and the reader feels the cautious trust. Very powerful write - good luck in the contest.
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Thanks so much!! I had replied to one of cynewulf's comments that I could not believe what he picked up on while reading this. This is when he suggested that I check out your writing because you picked up on the most incredible things. Turns out, he's absolutely right!!
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This sounds quite personal, I like the concept of epiphany being a 'bloody battlefield'. I think most are traumatic. The scan is superbly kept up throughout the poem. I notice that you have opted for a form of phoneme alliteration rather than rhyme. I think that this was a good move. It gives the piece a percussive quality, almost as if it is being 'spat' out defiantly. I can relate to a lot of that.
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