I.
maybe it's hard for me to grasp the fact that you're happier with us being friends; just friends. those words just roll off your lips so easy. it's hard to believe that you actually love her you know? it makes me feel like some chapter in your never ending tales of previous mistakes. I must be a pretty good liar if you believe that the things I do are all done in the name of being "just friends".
II.
I believe I stood in the shower last night and cried a tearless cry. the water falling from the faucet did it all for me. I shook for hours sitting on the cold marbled floors wondering "where do i go from here". I scribbled your name with my flushed fingertips on my steam covered mirror, praying that you'll ring my bell and apologize and make things like they were?
Is it possible for you to make it like it was babe?
III.
its been a month and some weeks, and I'm still stuck in square one. we go nowehre, our conversations start at a green light and end at a two-way intersections.[between me and her]. it's almost like you're struggling. I can sense it with the words you type that somethings wrong... I guess I'm at a crossroad myself, whether to give up on us ever moving further, or coming to terms with us staying the way we are.
IV.
I smiled today, if that what you could call it. the corners of my mouth weren't turned down for the first time. I've got this gut-wrenching feeling everytime my phone rings, everytime a car drives by. when it rains, I can't help but think of all things I wish I would've said to you that day.
V.
I'm sickly obsessed I suppose. or maybe just sick of pretending. I wear this mask well don't I? you always said I confused you. the only way you assumed I was happy was by my smile, but lately you're unsure if thats even close to real.
Newsflash babydoll: it's all fake.
Author notes
opt. 3
A contest entry
- Options contest by Abstract Image.
500 points, ended November 23, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm alone......are you? by movedon.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Bite Me...No Seriously...It Feels Awesome
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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such a sad poem but i love this kind of sadness makes me think of all the guys i had fallen in love with but could never have...good luck.
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Wow, I liked it! And that says a lot; I'm picky.
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Hmmm this is a very interesting piece. I really enjoyed it.
It's like opening up a gir's heart - admitting a smile is fake is so hard. That phrase could kill anyone couldn't it - "just friends". I split up with my ex nearly 3months ago and the first thing he said was he just wanted to be friends and at the time it was just an insult.
I like the way you've set this out - it's like a series of diary entries.
I adore these parts:
"maybe it's hard for me to grasp the fact that you're happier with us being friends; just friends. those words just roll off your lips so easy."
"Is it possible for you to make it like it was babe?"
" the only way you assumed i was happy was by my smile, but lately you're unsure if thats even close to real.
Newsflash babydoll: it's all fake."
I hope for your sake this isn't a personal write
if it is, I'm here if you ever want to talk
A massive well done, thanks for entering and good luck. I love the write!
Rebecca
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ty for entering good luck
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a really good piece. I like the way you laid it out. Thank you so much for your entry.
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wow. stunning. thank you for entering
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I think this is a great piece, it really does take the reader through a rollercoaster of emotions we have all felt once or twice in our lives. Well done. Best to you
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thankies for the comment
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This plays out like a journal entry. How cool is it that I am reading your diary? LOL And wow, look at all these trophies!
I thought the best part of the whole write was section 2.
i believe i stood in the shower last night and cried a tearless cry. the water falling from the faucet did it all for me. i shook for hours sitting on the cold marbled floors wondering "where do i go from here". i scribbled your name with my flushed fingertips on my steam covered mirror, praying that you'll ring my bell and apologize and make things like they were?
Is it possible for you to make it like it was babe?
Now as I process this I am wondering whether you had some time together before his relationship with this other person or during it?
Either way, if it hurts you this much to be around him some distance might be a really good thing even though thats probably the last thing you want.
When you mentioned him saying he was "confused" by you and being at a "crossroads" my stomach fluttered a little. What a roller coaster you must be riding! -
-maybe it's hard for me to grasp the fact that you're happier with us being friends; just friends. those words just roll off your lips so easy. it's hard to believe that you actually love her you know? it makes me feel like some chapter in your never ending tales of previous mistakes. i must be a pretty good liar if you believe that the things i do are all done in the name of being "just friends".
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Ohkay. I definitely just had to take a deep breath of air after I read the first part of this poem. I can relate so well. I just went through this recently...& I know we're better off as friends, but I still think about it. You penned that perfectly. Hah, I loved how you wrote: just friends. those words just roll of your lips so easy. <.<.definitely know how THAT is.
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its been a month and some weeks, and i'm still stuck in square one. we go nowehre, our conversations start at a green light and end at a two-way intersections.[between me and her]. it's almost like you're struggling. i can sense it with the words you type that somethings wrong... i guess i'm at a crossroad myself, whether to give up on us ever moving further, or coming to terms with us staying the way we are.
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Sorry, I don't mean to be copying & pasting your whole poem, but I just relate so damn well. haha. The only thing I found wrong here is that "nowhere" is spelled wrong. But like, just reading that part sent chills up my spine. That's how it is now. You penned my emotions perfectly. Thank you so much for entering, & good luck with everything♥
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So, this is my second comment and this comment will be about the poem, itself. I promise that I will make this shorter.
POINTS FOR THE FOLLOWING
- For following rules.
- I like the unique form. I never seen a form like this. Is there a name for it? It's like a little diary entry.
- You know how to write. I mean, damn. The words you picked really impacted the poem.
- I really can feel the emotion of longing to be with this person. I also get the sense, this person is confused. Maybe they still like you, but are currently with someone else. ???? At least, thats the idea I get.
- You conveyed the pain of not being with someone you love very well. -
For Comfort Zone Contest
So, your problem has to do with a guy, correct?
I was in this same situation a few years ago. With my first love, he was also my best friend. And if my current boyfriend and I part ways, I'll most likely be back in the same situation because he is my second love and my best friend.
To put it simply, it was hell, in regards to my first love. Loving a guy, who clearly didn't love you back. On top of that, still trying to be friends with him. Especially, when a new girl comes, along.
I know our situations are different and I don't know the exact details of your relationship with this guy, but the main advice I can give you is talk to him. Tell him how you feel. When you talk to him, one of three things might happen.
1. Maybe he still has feelings for you. You never know. Guys are funny like that. If you tell him first, that you still have feelings for him, he might still feel the same way for you.
2. Maybe he doesn't have feelings for you, but because you were open with him and you two are friends, you can develop a compromise. Come up with a plan that can help make things easier for you. Maybe, when he is around you, he can talk less about the other girl or not bring her along, as much. Just until you heal a little bit more. Nothing has to be set in stone, to last forever. It’s temporary, until you can stand on your own, again. He is your friend, he will understand.
3. There might not be any solution to this problem. So, the only thing that is left is time apart. Time away from him, so you can heal. Being together is only dragging you down.
In my situation, it ended up being time apart. I haven’t talked to my first love in possibly over a year. Probably two. Sometimes, I miss him and I wish things were different. At least, in the sense that we could have been friends, but if I really look at it, this outcome actually turned out to be the best outcome for both of us. We were both dragging each other down and needed to get away from each other. At first, it was hell, but in time, it got better. In time, I healed and was able to move on. Don’t get me wrong, I was impacted by my first love and I will never forget that, but now when I think of him, I don’t long to be with him. I don’t cry and feel pain. And I am not just saying this because I have a new love and I’m distracted. I was like this even before my new love came along. Maybe someday, I’ll meet him again and we can just be friends, but I’m okay, if it doesn’t end up that way.
If your situation, ends up being the third outcome, it’s going to be hard, at first. But, you will survive. You will heal. Maybe with time, you two can come to terms with things and anything can happen. You can end up back together. You can actually just be friends and be happy with that. Who knows? But, I know one thing for sure, you will be okay. He impacted you, but he didn’t destroy you.
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those words just roll off ur lips so easy. its hards to believe that you actually love her you know? it makes me feel like some chapter in your never ending tales of previous mistakes. i must be a pretty good liar if you believe that the things i do are all done in the name of being "just friends".
i like that part,
but you should use spell check.
"ur" --> your
"its" --> it's
hards --> hard -
In paragraph V, it's "I wear this mask well, dont I?" Not "good". Just a lil grammatical error. Otherwise, great work! Well deserving of the trophies you won! Raw emotions.
Warmest,
Mylee -
When you feel this strongly about somebody, you know at least to yourself, that it is far more than friendship that you do what you do to maintain it. These 'friendships' are rough indeed. You describe the unrequited desires quite well. Thank you for entering it into my contest.
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I really liked this, excellently written. Continue writting. I look forward to reading more from you in the future, and perhaps seeing you in future contests [=
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oh my god. ohhhh myyy goddd. this is AMAZING! it makes me wanna cry! beautifully written. i love the words you chose. i think this is one of my absolute favorites =D nice write!
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..omg, this is making me cry. -sniffles- You've strucken a chord..a deep chord with me here. For that, i automatically shoot you into the finalists list..amazing write sweetie.
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I try and stay happy but the pain overpowers me and nearly swallows me whole.
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alrighty poems done ^_^
do enjoy
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