A low pitched snarl
a hissing vibrato
curls your fingers to
slowly nail your flesh
coating them fresh crimson
Hairs stand upon your skin
as his breath saturates your pores
Agony rest in each note
as he whispers in your ear
Then rushes fires of sin
toward pleasures of heaven
lighting within
Author notes
Prompt Choice: The devil's voice is sweet to hear. ~ Stephen King
A contest entry
- Dark, Light, and In Between by Wandering Woodchuck.
550 points, ended August 9, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like the imagery and the undertone of pleasure in sin....
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I like the sounds and images in this work. The use of punctuation is not essential in this type of work. I enjoyed it. Best of luck in the contest.
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Im really liking some of your word combinations.. They are unique.. Not something you find often.
Very nice to see you using senses here. Its effective.
My only suggestion would be playing with your flow a bit.. It feels too long.. Strung out. A little punctuation could go a long way here.
Thanks for sharing this, Gypsie. Much enjoyed.
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