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Our last moments

We breathe...
silently we inhale...exhale...
Watching eachother intimately
eyes locked
Unable to look away
impossible to even blink
tears welling in our eyes.
in our final moments
tightly holding hands
As we take our last breath...
our last look...
dying in eachothers arms,
together until our end
wounds killing us slowly...
but our hearts alive,
without fear.
for we have knowledge...
that we have lived
because we have loved.
and so will never die.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Loki silver member
    July 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write, good luck.


  • sassykitty
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This really creates an appropriate mood and tone straight from the opening. I like the way you used punctuation to evoke this. Sadly romantic write, reminds me (sorry it's a cliche, but..) of the final scene in Romeo and Juliet. The love is so evocatively described and your use of language really suits both mood, tone and form. Nicely romantic write, excellent use of imagery throughtout.Thanks for sharing and all the best in your contests. I really liked the way you ended this with a hint of hope and eternity. Cheers.


  • stavykm gold member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Powerful Write

    Wow to die with the man you love in their arms. That is quite a seen. The imagery is excellent but the emotions and deep romantic feeling are fabulous.

    for we have knowledge...
    that we have lived
    because we have loved.
    and so will never die.

    Thank you for sharing your gift to write poetry with me and best of luck in the contest.
    Many Blessings
    Kelle Marie
    stavykm