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When Winter Turns to Spring

 

 

 

 

 

        we danced on ice;
        cool touches slid
        down pearldrop skin.

        frost rings billowed

        from breath kissed

        lips; opened sweetly-

        soft dove-like coos. 

 

 

        we melded

 

 

        wandering breezes
        slipped white coats

        off; a gentle plunge-

        sheets beckoning

        forth an early thaw...
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Sensual Writes Only

In a list

A contest entry

Critical Critique Desired.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • spice12087
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought this was very sweet and pretty. you are an amazing writer. keep up the amazing writes.
    ~~Tori~~


  • Dalaney gold member
    August 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • tara wilson gold member
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    well done...I love the sense I get of 'warming up' in this poem


  • penman gold member
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very creative and so sensual. Best of luck in the contest.


  • sideways hourglass
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think you tried too hard to make the lines all the same length - while it looks nice, really, it makes it flow awkward in some spots. however, you had some really strong imagery - so there's a plus.


  • just mercedes gold member
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Subtle, soft and very sensual - you created a beautiful image, and warmed me with a gentle plunge into an early thaw. Well done - good luck in the contest.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely sensual! Done so sutbly.. know Lane will love this!

1 - 7 of 7