You asked to enter, I paused but allowed
You asked for love, I paused but fell anyway
You asked me to forgive, I paused but decided I should
You asked me to forget the past, I paused but then I did
You asked me to give you another chance, I paused and walked away.
I asked you to take it slow, you just sped up the pace
I asked you not to make me love, you just made me fall
I asked you to forgive, you told me forgiving isn’t forgetting
I asked you to forget, you said some things can never be erased
I asked for a second chance, you just left me in tears
You never meant the words you said, I believed them anyway
You never really cared for me, I fell for you anyway
You never held me in your heart, I gave you mine anyway
You never deserved me, I allowed you to hold me anyway
You never meant to make me happy, I was happy anyway
I never thought you’d break my heart, you did it anyway
I never imagined you would leave like this, you left anyway
I never would’ve guessed you’d be the one to break me, you broke me anyway
I never hoped for more than you, you walked away anyway
I never guessed you weren’t the one, you proved you weren’t anyway
You fooled me and it’s over now, I didn’t want to pause anyway.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I definitely get how you feel from this poem. It did get a little repetitive at points, but I think you have something great to work with here.
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I'd suggest breaking it up into stanzas so that it flows better.
however, I think everyone can relate to this
so kudos
good write, don't listen to anyone who tries to bring you down. -
I love this too, so sad, i too have been in those shoes. It hurts reading this, but i'm glad i did. wonderful write
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I liked It...
I see what you mean, I like this. add stanza breaks maybe...use more adjectives and adverbs less filler words maybe...just some thoughts. Otherwise being new at this and all, great job.
~mandie~
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Hmmmm I see what you mean, and I like this. I'm not going to tell you to fix it, I think it's fine. All in all very great poem, keep up the work! ^.^
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Some of the lines were a mouthful and could be rephrased but I liked it. You could add stanza breaks maybe. Just some ideas. Good job though! AnonymousXO
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I think this was Ok it would have been better if there was more then just one liners there I understand what you were getting across but it wasnt so much a poem with just the one liners you need some stanzas
Lucian"
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