all i see before me
has been seen before
one wrong move
and i'll move out the door
not going to take
feelings that i hate
not going to stay
in misery today
somethings wrong
when life has lost it's fun
somethings gotta give
i am a man, but only one
somethings gotta give
somethings about to break
i won't lose again
i've clearly made my stake
we all see that things need to change
what will it take for you to accept the blame
we all have made our stupid little rules
this is real life though, not some stupid game
so with this life, i do confess
i will try to find the right
and until the day when i see my demise
i'll fight to right the world
somethings wrong
when life has lost it's fun
somethings gotta give
i am a man, but only one
somethings gotta give
somethings about to break
i won't lose again
i've clearly made my stake
but now i see all the flaws in me
and i choose to live it out
i can not sit here idly by
this time i scream and shout
I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I SEE MY BEST
I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE FAULT
I WILL NOT LIVE A LIFE OF LIES
I WILL NOT LEAVE AN EMPTY VAULT
AND NOW I KNOW WHAT WENT WRONG
AND HOW TO MAKE IT RIGHT
I FOUND THE FUN OF LIFE AGAIN
I CAN SEE THE LIGHT
JUST A MAN CAN TAKE HIS PLAN
AND PUT IT THROUGH THE TESTS
AND SEE HOW LONG HE WILL LAST
BEFORE HIS LAST BREATHS
A contest entry
- Stream of Consciousness by knots untangled.
600 points, ended September 2, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PRE-WRITTEN POEMS ONLY!! GIVE ME YOUR BEST! by xXxIceQueenxXx.
800 points, ended July 31, 2008, 56 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Wow. This is a very strong poem! I adore the lines:
"somethings wrong
when life has lost it's fun
somethings gotta give
i am a man, but only one"
The emotion and power of this piece of writing are so strong and amazing!
Thank you so much for entering this in my contest! -
the title for this poem fit perfectly into where your mind wandered, and I liked how for the last three stanzas you used caps locked in order to show that it was changing and it made them really stand out, you did very well with your stream of consciousness.
-Meg
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