Stealin kisses down by the shore
you held my hand in the bed of that ford
You told me my smile
lit up this Florida sky...
*chorus*
Oh and we were throwing wishes to the man in the moon
we never thought it would end so soon
Our dreams strung up by jealous stars
But here's to the nights that made us who we are
Well I should've known better
my daddys always right
I gave into your charms
but I'm alright
My heart so young
you were hard to resist
but you convinced me slowly
with only a kiss
*chorus*
Oh and we were throwing wishes to the man in the moon
we never thought it would end so soon
Our dreams strung up by jealous stars
But here's to the nights that made us who we are
You taught me a few things
of love and of war
my heart lay naked on your 4x4
But I know without you I wouldn't be me
I guess I'm at least thankful for that memory
*chorus*
Oh and we were throwing wishes to the man in the moon
we never thought it would end so soon
Our dreams strung up by jealous stars
But here's to the nights that made us who we are
In a list
A contest entry
- Remind me there is love in the world by kay772.
400 points, ended November 21, 82 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Awww this is so sweet and very cute. Love is a great thing. Thanks for entering my contest. good job and good luck. i think yours is the first song i have read so far and i loved it. thanks again for entering.
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nice, love the chorus, thanks for entering
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I gave into your charms..... try giving in without being kissed, it's much better, I swear.
I love the chorus most.
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Posibally same author?
I found my self humming the tune to a jack's mannequin song along with this
Nice write -
...its really good i like it but i dunno if its the "catch 22" im listening to or if im just dumb but i think it needs some more beef to it i liked alota the imagery but i don't think it gave quite enough to know ya know like what happaned all were getting from it is that something went wrong between a girl and a boy ... that shit happans everyday .. so i dunno i guess all im saying in this ramble is beef it up a lil make it complicated like what its trying to explain ya kno lol
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Wow I love the use of simple words in this. The image of "jealous stars" really stuck with me. This piece flows very well. Love the Florida line, though I think you had a typo (did you mean "lite", or was it "lit"?". The mention of 4X4 really did something for me. I also loved the play on the "all is fair in love and war" saying. I really like the open, clear vagueness to this. These are the kind of lyrics I'd love to hear sung and played.
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I like this a lot, it flows really well.
Let it be
xx Sin -
Great
This is amazing. I love it!!
My favorite part about it is the chorus.
It's insanely good!!
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I told you before
that I really, really like this one. It just seems to catch the mood and moves along thorugh the feelings and emotions gently and smoothly. Can just picture you strummin' and singin' this one. Great job Miss Vron and also, gooooood luck in the contest.
GP
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Cool poem, I really liked it and I guess by being the same age I feel what you're saying more than perhaps others may. Still this was really good.
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Nice imagery in this piece
and with a good beat it sounds like it would work very well.
I'd love to hear it put to music. I bet it would sound great.
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Thank you very much! I actually have written the music to go with this and it does work really well. Thank you for your very kind comment. It is much appreciated.
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Wow this is a great song! how were made of our experiences good an bad an even broken hearts teach us an shape us
Well I should've known better
my daddys always right
I gave into your charms
but I'm alright
My heart so young
you were hard to resist
but you convinced me slowly
with only a kiss
awesome rhythm!
WTG! Good luck in the contest
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