Am I loosing you,
You seem so far away.
Locked inside a shell,
I wish for you to stay.
I love who you are,
Why must you hide.
You are my shooting star,
This sure is a bumpy ride.
I reach out to you,
You pull away from me.
What do I have to do,
To go back the how it used to be.
I miss your laugh, your smile,
Your kisses and your hugs.
I'll give it a little while,
Maybe again I'll feel your love.
Author notes
pretty self explanitory.
In a list
what you think?
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This is beautiful and very touching. The sadness really pulls at the heart and drew me in from the first stanza. You have done an amazing job on this poem, I can understand your emotions behind the words from personal experience, and it can be very painful. I'm glad that you can write about it and also be able to put emotions into your words as strong as you can. It makes the poem a lot more "catchy" when there is a touch of true human feeling behind the words.
♥
-Kaela
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i agree
great work!!!
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:D
ooh! i like this one. i can feel the emotions you so competently conveyed through the words. a suggestion, however-next time try making the lines a little longer. your flow is good, but i have found that if lines are slightly longer than yours are it helps the flow a LOT. nice write! -
beautifully penned with a nice flow and use of emotions.
it is truly sad when you try everything to make this go back to normal and nothing seems to work.
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Awww... it's so sweet and sad! A very good write though. I especially love the ending. Keep it up n stay strong *hugs*
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