Prepared for thoughts inside a box
rye toast, cream cheese, a slice of lox.
Drilled hole for laptop cord -- a must
placed box near outlet, ate bread crust.
Pulled cord through hole, turned on machine;
WiFi was weak. I craved ice cream.
Laid pint of mint chip in the box
beside rye toast, cream cheese and lox.
A pad of paper, pens will do;
short seat for comfort needed too.
A spoon, a plate, a knife to spread
cream cheese, then lox upon my bread.
Wet naps for messy drips work well
when thinking in a cardboard shell.
A fan will keep me cool, relaxed,
to ponder as I eat my snacks.
Clipped gooseneck lamp to side of box;
light must be bright to think my thoughts.
Need table for my tiny fan --
perhaps I'll use that wicker stand.
At last the time to climb "aboard";
the space was tight; tripped on fan cord.
My thought box tipped, threw all askew;
rye toast, ice cream and sliced lox flew.
Mixed ice cream soup with grimy lox --
I'll think my thoughts outside the box.
Joyce Josephson
Author notes
Prompt: I keep being told to think outside the box, how unoriginal is that?
Here is the box
Think in it!!!
Glossary of Terms:
Lox: Thinly sliced smoked salmon.
Some like it with cream cheese and bagels.
A New York deli food, it is sometimes eaten for breakfast.
It is seldom eaten with ice cream, even when one is pregnant.
WiFi: Wireless internet connection.
If you don’t have thoughts of your own,
you can always help yourself to someone else’s...
Just don't copywright
another's thoughts as your own. 
In a list
A contest entry
- The Box by cricketjeff.
550 points, ended July 30, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever You Want Just So It Rhymes by piccola.
600 points, ended August 3, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF I Deserve A Gold by Rakerman1.
475 points, ended August 9, 2008, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ENTER WHAT YOU THINK IS GOOD by DarkHunter.
450 points, ended September 5, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-writes, new poems, Anything by Hello...No.One.Home.
525 points, ended September 24, 2008, 104 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Time by AboveApathy.
385 points, ended October 20, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Parody! Satire! Something Witty, please! by CoundessaScarlotti.
1100 points, ended November 11, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Dr suess by Lucian Valcor.
575 points, ended January 10, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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You're a pretty talented poet!
Pretty nice rhymning and I like the humour too! Was fun to read!
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Thank you!
That's a pretty nice complement! I'm glad you enjoyed my poem.
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Fun! I think this is expanded and even more enjoyable than on a previous reading!
Beautifully rhymed and nicely metered.
Sometimes wanting to 'get away from it all' is more of a chore than anticipated. Delightful conclusion! (wouldn't take my clappies since I'd reviewed this before
)
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Thanks, Sweeties!
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I definitely like this one and you think very well outside the form 'box' which might have made the thoughts somewhat rigid. It didn't and the humour came right through it.Most enjoyable.
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Clever and cute ...
and not much else to say. Your cheering section seems to have covered everything.
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Joyce I love this write!! You have made me laugh and think!! I know about the preparing and then have it all fall apart at the last minute. I love the "box" idea for this poem.
Oh, you deserved the Gold for this one for sure!!! Excellent writing girl!
Mary
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Love it!!! As poets, we shouldn't have to be told to "think outside the box," because (as you've pointed out), thinking inside just makes a mess. Great write!
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Very well done on this poem, but by your previous comments and trophies you already knew that
Thought your subject was really funny. Why is it people are always telling us to think outside the box? It doesn't make sense and now I want to go get a refrigerator box and make it into a little thinking place.
Wonderful poem!
Thanks for entering our contest.
Midnight Raeven -
while a poem that is written on the spot holds more water then one that has been written before for other contests , this poem held very well with a dr seuss theme the flow was amazing and rhyme was right on, i love the subject of instead of thinking outside a box why dont you sit in one and think lol nice work made me smile thank you for entering
Lucian" -
A wonderful write.
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This made me smile, what a wonderful humour you have to dream us such a fantastic piece. Well done and congratulations on your trophies. Best to you fine Bandit
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A fun poem ...
that shared something that is quite (un)original and did it with finese. Congrats on the trophy(s).
j
y
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CONGRATS ON THE BRONZE CUZ
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THANKS!
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Thanks for the glorrary, I actually didn't get WIFI until you showed me. Good luck in the contest.
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You beat up the cliche
in a most witty way.
From technology to gourmet snack,
you totally gave it a whack!
Aesthete2000
M-C
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excellent~
Thanks so much for the smile
But reading about this made me hungry LOL
Best of luck in the contest
I have up two new ones drop by when ya can
Love ya sis
Susan~~~
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that you are funny!
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Haha i love this poem, it was great to read. And i loved your picture you included with it, it was funny. Thanks for writing this, i needed something to brighten up my day!
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thinking outside the box is good!
thank you for your entry.
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What a clever, delightful poem to start out my day! Loved it!!!
Great wording/thinking...lol....this is just so unusual and enjoyable!
Congrats on the well-deserved trophy on this.
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excellent~
A clever write indeed
Now your making me want an ice cream
But Baskin Robbins is too far away LOL
WTG on the Bronze Trophy as well
Hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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This is such a delightful, refreshing read that brightened up yet another damp, UK Summer Sunday. We have Ben and Jerry's over here - but this summer hot cocoa has seen greater demand. There's certainly no point in thinking outside of the box if you don't know what was in it in the first place (and boy, there are many exponents of that failing around AP and beyond!) Thoroughly enjoyable, thanks.
Love & Peace, Kezz -
LOL very clever twisty think in the box LOL
At last the time to climb "aboard";
the space was tight; tripped on fan cord.
My thought box tipped, threw all askew
rye toast, ice cream and sliced lox flew.
Mixed ice cream soup with grimy lox...
I'll think
my thoughts
outside
the box.
i love the whole thing but thats my fav part WTG!!
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Great fun entry thanks for taking part in my rather odd contest!
I'm sorry it has taken so long to comment on all the entries they were all read very thoroughly before I judged it.
Thanks a lot for the entry, this was a great contest from my point of view
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I loved this. I always wondered where the box was I was suppose to think outside of. LOL Congrats on the bronze.
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Wonderfully imaginative! Excellent rhyme and flow. A real treasure.
Very well done !
Raker
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Thanks!
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I love the humour of this piece - the way you described it is wonderful, I can just imagine all of this happening to someone who has spent all that time preparing very nice flow and rhythm, delightful to read
Keep writing
Polly
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ohh I love secret adventures! a super cool poem .
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Wonderful poem. Very creative and i like the rhyme scheme
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What no caviar? A delightful piece of thoughtful nonsense beautifully delivered.
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This is a delightful adventure in planning a perfect get-away or at least hide-away. Loved the descriptiveness of this poem and the repeating lines worked well. Very imaginative!
Dennis
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love that lox ... mmm mmmm mmmm Also wifi when I'm in a hotel away from home. (me and my laptop.) thanks for the entry it is wayyy clever.
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I see room for toaster and crumpets and of course a jar of Vegemite takes up verrry little space!
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Love it to bits...not sure on the iambic tetrameter (yet) but his was as smooth as silk to read
Now you got me wondering about Lox as well
Beautiful background to MY eyes (love a subtle Blue)
Linda
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Thanks a bunchios! Now I know it's funny. I got approval from Linda's dancing elephant!
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Hmmmm??? I have opposition that thinks outside the box huh?
You never did get back to me about the toaster and vegemite???
Notice my elephant is a tad more sedate these days.
Best of luck hon (you'll need it)
Linda
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Sure is My Friend as the Elephant says so!
Look out for the boxing one (elephant that is)
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This reminded me of forts of blankets and sofa cushions deployed around a large dining room table, with all one's "essentials" safely hoarded within! What a sad misadventure, to have ended up with fishy-smelling Ben and Jerry's! Maybe a paper fan would suffice next time? Very enjoyable read, really enjoyed the rhyming and repeating line.
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Thanks for the idea of mixing the lox with ice cream!
Yeah, we used to play "fort" and "restaurant".
I was tempted to add a table and a lamp, too.
This was my first poem written in iambic tetrameter. Finally!
Thanks for the comment and clappies!
I added Glossary Terms (inspired by Thou) to my author's notes, and changed a couple of words and the second to last line.
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I enjoyed it yet again, with your changes. Congrats on the very nicely done meter! I particularly liked the "climb aboard" and "thought box!"
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What is Lox?
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Lox is thinly sliced smoked salmon. Some like it with cream cheese and bagels. A New York kind of Deli food, it is sometimes eaten for breakfast.
It rhymed so well with box. I thought I'd have fun with it, try to be absurd and sound a bit like Dr. Seuss. Every one speaks of forced rhyme. Well, I crammed this into the poem.
Happy 50th!
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You made me smile, you certainly were prepared but I thought cream cheese was fattening.I really enjoyed reading the good flow and rhyme,
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Sorry. Lite cream cheese. Diet coke.
I'll save the calories for the ice cream.
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this is cute 
loved it!
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