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A Mottled Memory

I can close my eyes
and feel the silk of her hair...
her complaint
complying to my pertinence.

See how the part is crooked in the back?

There are no straight lines in a memory,
but I swear there is a scar
where her blue eyes lingered
true & straight while braving the brush.

Watch me, she says to my memory.

I can make my hair dance.


She turns around and then again,
caught in the air of time...


her hair, a rope or a bridge,
to climb
to her pugnacious smile.





 

 

Author notes

A contest entry for: tonight i draw your hair

Rules:
- We prefer free verse
- Left align & plain background
- Apply poetic device
- No reservations

Painting Title: "Ecstasy" Artist: Maxfield Parrish.

A memory of my daughter, Jennifer.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Nicolette gold member
    August 6, 2008

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    This is lovely poetry, Nicky. Such beautiful, gentle visions so creatively applied here and yes, such a soft melancholy or nostalgia about this poem. What a lovely memory to hold and go back to time after time… I especially liked the way you combined “the park is crooked in the back” with “there are no straight lines in a memory”….. indeed… wonderful observation. The closing stanza has a lingering quality about it..it stays with the reader, just like the images, just like your memory.

    Thank you for sharing this with us.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 1, 2008

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    This verse was all beheld in my mind's eye...
    such a lively response to the given prompt.
    Femininity and childhood innocence all
    stroked together. Lovely! Blue


  • klassy lassy
    August 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Flirty and playful images assail my thoughts reading this, in a most appealing innocence, that somehow seem an intrinsic power of a feminine woman to comman attention. Even little girls seem born with it...knowing a gesture here, there, or even subconsciously, and the eyes follow.

    I love how you catch this in memory, which shows just how powerful that visual is. ~Karen


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    July 28, 2008

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    omg, my friend....this is deepo and evocative...and truly powerful...what kind of man it takes to know such things... I know, I know...your kind!


  • MuddyKing
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a very creative piece
    bringing the memory alive is just pure brilliance
    excellent device throughout
    well done
    best wishes
    peace Muddy

1 - 5 of 5