I needed a guard rail for my highway of life;
not to keep me on the straight and narrow-
but to keep me from wrecking someone else
as I careened down my crooked road.
I ignored the obvious stop signs
as I rushed pell-mell through avenues
with broken streetlights, shuttered storefronts,
dangerous places and wasted time.
I should have taken the detour
when others tried to flag me down and warn me
of dangerous conditions and washed out bridges-
those warnings were for weaker souls than I.
In hindsight I chose the roads I took;
not realizing that choices I made
narrowed choices that I could make-
all of which will inevitably lead me
to my dead end.
A contest entry
- The Prompt Coffee House: Prompt Challenge Round 1: Picture Prompts by Ceridwens Soul.
1050 points, ended August 4, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whats the metaphor for your life? by Sarah957.
500 points, ended August 16, 2008, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Just Love Fantastic Titles by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended December 20, 2008, 41 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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thank you for entering,
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Wow, this has substance, does it not? Thanks for your entry
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I agree with Harlequin. Is vey well written and a worhty winner of the previous trophies. Good luck in the contest.
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Quite the lovely poem. I love how the whole thing is just a drive down the road, you've written this well. Thank you for sharing.
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-I should have taken the detour
when others tried to flag me down and warn me
of dangerous conditions and washed out bridges-
those warnings were for weaker souls than I.
...
What an incredible read. I was captivated by every word. Wonderfully written :] Keep it up & thank you so much for entering! Best of luck to youuu♥ -
Congratulations on a well deserved bronze, it was well worth a second read.
Sorry I can't give more happy little men
Sue
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Hello. Congratulations on your Bronze Trophy, a deserving write. My regards.
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Hello.
I like how you have built the poem around roads/travel/journey (at this moment in time I can't think of an all encompassing word, hahaha). Your metaphor works well, and 'straight and narrow' fits in well, as it surely would in the metaphoric urban landscape (actually that could be the all encompassing description, hahaha).
The detail used to describe the surroundings is done well, "broken streetlights, shuttered storefronts........"; sheesh, that was one wrong turn from the sounds of it, ahaha. Anyway as I was saying, you have stayed with the metaphor throughout and have built around it well. I wish you well in the contest.
My regards.
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Bad choices made in the past lead to fewer choices in the future those are definate words of wisdom.
I could see the image of you driving through all those mistaken roads you described them well. You grabbed me and took me with you down the path in your poem, great job with the imagery. -
Very interesting and original write. Something different from the usual. I liked it. Very well done!
Best of luck & thanks for entering
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oh, now this is what I am looking for. This is dark.
Perfect free write, gives a strong image, simply good.
Best of luck
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Wonderfully written. I enjoyed this very much. You sustain the metaphor of the highway throughout without being repetitive. Great job and congrats on the hm.
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This is an amazing take on the prompt, you used it to perfection. A well written piece of insight.
'I ignored the obvious stop signs
as I rushed pell-mell through avenues
with broken streetlights, shuttered storefronts,
dangerous places and wasted time.'
This second stanza contained so much imagery.
Well done and thank you for sharing with us.
Jem and Ju
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Thank you for your entry, good luck!
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Brilliant, a sort of brief, pensive, self-focused social dissertation as it were. Very well put and loved the detailed metaphor!
All the best,
mj.
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I'm sure we have all made the wrong choices during our lives, but there is always time to side step, I hope.
You've taken the picture and made it your own.
All the best in the contest.
Sue
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