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Morning Conversations




Frogs shriek,
Crows reply.
...arranging marriage?




Author notes

*POM Contest*

Every morning when I wake up, frogs and crows seem to be screaming morning conversation at each other, and I had wondered what they were talking about.
It occured to me that they could be arranging a marriage between the two, seeing as usually a human marriage entails a lot of screaming.

A contest entry

What be your thoughts?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • trista gold member
    July 31, 2008

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    Hi and welcome to the POM!

    Humm....something tells me, there is a LOT going on behind this poem! And the reason I say this, is because of your author notes...which actually tell me a ton more than the poem does, and sparks my interest much more as well. Arranged marriages? (Now that’s a theme I don’t think we’ve seen in a PO contest yet...) A lot of screaming going on? Yep, I think you have good material to work with, much more deserving than a mere 6 words worth.

    Even if I were to look at and judge this as a haiku...it is difficult to follow your thoughts as they jumped from L2 to L3. Remember...the fewer words in a poem, the fewer opportunities you have to give us impact, imagery, and feeling. You have a unique view of the world unlike anyone else’s...and that’s what we want to see. Don’t be afraid to put your thoughts and feelings on paper. I would think...and hope...it’ll be worth it to you in the end.

    Please join us again...and I’d encourage you to read the winning entries for the contest, once we’ve finished judging, if you have any questions at all about what we’re looking for.

    Best wishes, and hope to see you back in 2 weeks!
    ~J.

  • islekine silver member
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I have to agree with my co-judges...

    I almost DQ'd this earlier...but wanted to get other opinions....see you and your talents again!
    Best always...


  • aboomer silver member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was cute - but with only 6 words, I really can't score on this - just not enough here to work with.....but it did give me a smile.
    best wishes

  • Arkbear gold member
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Hey there you!

     

    Ok.....not a lot to go on.....but here goes ~

     

    I see a brief amount of Imagery....I feel no Power....I ponder briefly....very briefly, your thought you have just penned....and I look for the journey which I enjoy when reading something .....there was none ~

     

    There is a lot missing ~

     

    Now....without sounding stupid....I have to ask you.....what do you want me to see in this?

     

    Do you want me to see Impact?

     

    Lasting Impression?

     

    Power!?

     

    Enough Imagery to put together visuals in my head for a Theme/Storyline....Tone?

     

    It's hard to do at this length.....so.....for this POM entry, I am going to pass on scoring....nice image of what I spent many years going through in the Ozarks....but not enough to score.....and....you have to remember, this is worth a 3 month Silver Membership from AllPoetry...Kevin, the Owner ~

     

    So sorry....please try again in two weeks!

     

    God bless,

     

    Bear ~

     


    • wonderbandalice
      July 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, I really needed some cutting down .
      I'll be sure to enter the next POW or POM, and try harder.
1 - 5 of 5