Little Jack Horner,
From down on the corner
Was making a Christmas Pie.
He cut off his thumb.
Damn, that was dumb.
The poor boy will surely die.
The EMTs said,
'Jack will soon be dead.'
His mother let out a screech.
'He would be okay
If he'd done as I say,
And used custard instead of a peach.'
Infection set in
Rotting Jack from within.
He now lies in the cold ground.
Please, don't be sad,
About this poor lad;
For now there' more food to go round.
Author notes
A twisted version of Little Jack Horner.
In a list
A contest entry
- Wicked Nursery Rhymes - What Really Happened? by Wilted Rose Bush.
500 points, ended August 11, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Twisted Nursery Rhymes by Dmonik.
1750 points, ended August 30, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Thanks for entering
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Thanks for your entry. I'll read it thoroughly upon judging.
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Twisted and Funny at the same time. It has a great flow and great rhyme and is what I was looking for .
I like the final "joke" line and this was overall a great piece.
Well done and good luc -
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. I had fun with the contest. Thanks for the inspiration and the HM.
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HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thats brilliant!
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad you liked it.
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Stephen King...move over. LOL It took a sick mind to write this. I love it! You did a great job for the contest requirements. I hope you win! Pen on...~Poo~
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. I enjoy re-writing nursery rhymes or fairy tales. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Mike
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I simply do not understand any of this. Who or what is or are "EMTs"? How would custard have helped? What has a peach got to do with an English nursery rhyme? What does the last line mean? Is this supposed to be funny or what? Probably what.
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EMTs are emergency medical technicians. Custard would have helped as it would not have to be cut. As far as I know.... England is not a peach free zone.
Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope the explanation helped. -
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Not in the slightest. Jackie Horner ate rather than cooked. One thing I have ascertained is that both this poem and you are devoid of all humour. My sympathy.
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LMAO! You are so funny and creative! This is definitely twisted, but I needed that laugh! MY muse is dead, but funny I can do! Must have a gander at this contest! Best wishes! Hope his finger is NOT in the pie!
Linda
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I am glad that you enjoyed this. It was fun to write. The judge has alot of great poems to choose from. I don't think there are any that are not worth reading. There are alot of different styles. I keep going back to see if there are more entries.
Mike
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This is great. Very funny and dark. I think this fits the theme of the contest very nicely. The only critique I have is the third line of the last stanza. Doesn't seem to fit too well.
Good luck in the contest!
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I know what you mean. I thought about getting rid of the whole third stanza. Thank you for reading and commenting.
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I wouldn't ditch it completely. I think the rest of it is great. Just an idea, but how about:
Infection set in
Rotting Jack from within.
He now lies in repose.
But, please, don't be sad,
About this poor lad;
For now there' more food to go round.
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ROFL that is absolutly a work of art, i never thought that little jack horner could be used so well lol. This is absolutly fantastic, it has fantastic flow but the second line in the last stanza has one too many sylabble thingies lol. The beginning works wonderfully with the end, and that last line made me laugh. I loved this good luck in the contest
Best wishes Seraph
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I will see what I can do about the line you pointed out. Nothing springs to mind yet though.
Mike
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Oh Little Jack Horner
You did a great job on twisting up this nursery rhyme. This was really fun to read and it was nice to laugh. So sad he ended up dead but it is funny beens I grew up with this nursery rhyme. LOL Best of luck in the contest your poem is Excellent.
Many Blessings
Much Love
Kelle Marie
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Thank you for reading and commenting. It has been an enjoyable contest. I have done a few fairy tales too: The three little pigs and rapunzel.
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This was great. You did a very good job with the prompt!
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I love these kinds of contests.
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Excellent
Very well done, Good luck, Boog
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I am glad you liked it. The contest has some great submissions.
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Poor little Jack
You never cease to amaze with your humorous writes lol This is great!!!
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I am not sure it is twisted enough. Some of the other entrants are downright evil.
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This is great. The rythm flowed very well, just like a nursery rhyme, and the slight humor you added in was great. Overall, awesome job!
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I tried not to vary too much from the rythm and flow of the original. I am glad you like it.
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Giggle and stomp... oh this is a romp!
Such fun to see what you wrote and you must have laughed while you did it. 
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I am glad you enjoyed this poem. I did have a smile while I as writing it. This is version 2. I wrote a draft, typed it up, and AP gremlins ate version 1.
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Hahahaha you have done this write so much justice its,... well its just GREAT !!!
A most excellent choice all the best in the contest
BRAVO !!
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Thanks. I liked this one when I wrote it, but I am not sure the third stanza was necessary.
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